I wrote a while back about rep sports, about getting in deep with one thing, about devoting time and money to something. As I mulled it all over, I came to the conclusion that I wasn't adverse to helping a real talent along, it's just that I had never come into personal contact with that much talent in one area. Growing up I always succeeded in what I tried my hand at, but I was never the very best in that field. Jack of all trades, Master of none. I might have even been a big fish in a small pond, but I was not gifted with a prodigy-like talent that would have made me a big fish in a big pond. But my personality type is fine with that. I like doing well at what I try, but I don't feel a hunger to pursue it with such devotion.
It seems, though, that I might be edging on something here with Colin. He has just finished a week long soccer camp run by a British soccer club. I chatted casually at the end of practice today, to get a feel for what they thought. Each coach described his natural ability as "unreal." He scored off the charts in every single area. And this is the first training he's ever had. He played at recess with his friends at school this past year, and this summer has been playing in a very casual league (ie: his parent coach has no real soccer experience to assist in any training.)
I was able to catch a glimpse of it on Wednesday night. Camera in hand, I was running between three fields, trying to take photos of all three boys playing on separate fields. As I crouched on the sidelines of Colin's game, I saw him make intuitive decisions about when to dribble and when to pass. I saw that for him, the game was more important than the glory. I saw 110% of his passion and effort poured into every second he was on the field.
Then, I saw him battle for the ball at mid-field. The next thing I knew, he broke free and was heading toward where I sat by the opposing team's net. 15 feet down he came across a defence man and his feet seemed to dance with the ball. He tapped the ball at a backward angle, stopped it blind, moved it deftly around the players and continued on. He barrelled down the field in complete control of the ball, and at the next block he brought the ball to a dead stop and reversed directions from left to right in the blink of an eye. The next blockage he tapped the ball right through an invisible clear pathway between the tangle of legs. Another quick deke or two and he was at the net. He glanced up, gauged the goalie's movement and kicked the ball in the other direction. It sailed clear into the net.
It took my breath away. I know a parent is always first to laud their own child's accomplishments. How natural it is to beam with pride at any accomplishment - whether physical, intellectual, spiritual, of character, or any other. But for me this was different. It was a moment to recognize what others have been telling me and I have been so reluctant to hear: he's good. He's really good.
My heart pumps at finding something my son both loves and excels at. When you can pinpoint that in a child, you can help them focus through the turmoil years of youth. Sometimes so much is going on in your body and mind and heart that your head can get lost in it all. Having something to throw yourself into can be therapeutic. I had music growing up. I can recall the hours I spent at the piano, picking up the guitar, the clarinet. Even now when my head swirls I have turned to the flute, the violin, and back to my old favourites also. Music has given me passion, focus, discipline, release, and love. It's wonderful to see the same thing in Colin.
Friday, 1 August 2014
Monday, 28 July 2014
Calebite
Caleb offered to take a friend's paper route today while they were on vacation.
Before starting: "This is awesome! I can't wait to get a route of my own."
Halfway delivering: "All this work for only $10? My time is worth so much more than that. $20 at least."
When finished: "No way I'm ever getting a paper route. No way."
Before starting: "This is awesome! I can't wait to get a route of my own."
Halfway delivering: "All this work for only $10? My time is worth so much more than that. $20 at least."
When finished: "No way I'm ever getting a paper route. No way."
Thursday, 24 July 2014
Summer days
Summer is speeding along. As I pout about prolonged silence from my favourite bloggers, my own little space here is equally neglected. Four children home in our little space, with these precious few months of good weather, means that we are constantly on the move, getting outside, being active, and loving it.
With advanced birthday money from us and my parents, we bought Caleb a kayak. He had mentioned it a few times, since I have my own kayak in the garage. I took him out for the first time last week and my heart could have burst open from the experience. He hopped in the kayak and paddled away as though he'd been doing it longer than I. He paused in the middle of the lake and sighed happily, noting how peaceful it was. Then he paddled hard to cross the great width of the lake, because he had promised his brothers he would, and "a promise is a promise." Now I really do have to get a roof rack so that we can bring the kayaks along with us on camping trips.
Yesterday I had my first paid workday (that wasn't for our family business) in a long time. A couple of my friends have a video company and are moving from wedding videos into corporate work, and they have hired me as a freelance writer, and also to be assistant director on shooting days. The job is so perfect in that most of the work can be done from home, but there are still a few days now and then to get me out a bit. My priority has always been to stay home with my children, but this will allow me to earn a little extra money while we shift our business ventures. I also applied for a proofreading job that is also done from home. How wonderful to find work that can be done once the children are asleep, so that it doesn't cut into my time with them.
Speaking of which, we are about to launch a new business, James and I. We are combining our film and writing training with our experience with seniors...to start making autobiographical videos for seniors who want to record their life story.
Finally, finally, finally, Juliette is sleeping through the night. For the first time in over nine years, I am getting a solid seven hours of sleep a night. Combined with the beautiful summer weather I'm about bursting with energy.
Lazy days by a friend's pond, soccer games, parks, bike rides, tennis, geocaching, ball hockey. Reading, reading and more reading (Colin is going through 1-2 novels a day!) Looking ahead to some camping trips, a soccer camp, and maybe getting Ben's training wheels off. Life is good.
With advanced birthday money from us and my parents, we bought Caleb a kayak. He had mentioned it a few times, since I have my own kayak in the garage. I took him out for the first time last week and my heart could have burst open from the experience. He hopped in the kayak and paddled away as though he'd been doing it longer than I. He paused in the middle of the lake and sighed happily, noting how peaceful it was. Then he paddled hard to cross the great width of the lake, because he had promised his brothers he would, and "a promise is a promise." Now I really do have to get a roof rack so that we can bring the kayaks along with us on camping trips.
Yesterday I had my first paid workday (that wasn't for our family business) in a long time. A couple of my friends have a video company and are moving from wedding videos into corporate work, and they have hired me as a freelance writer, and also to be assistant director on shooting days. The job is so perfect in that most of the work can be done from home, but there are still a few days now and then to get me out a bit. My priority has always been to stay home with my children, but this will allow me to earn a little extra money while we shift our business ventures. I also applied for a proofreading job that is also done from home. How wonderful to find work that can be done once the children are asleep, so that it doesn't cut into my time with them.
Speaking of which, we are about to launch a new business, James and I. We are combining our film and writing training with our experience with seniors...to start making autobiographical videos for seniors who want to record their life story.
Finally, finally, finally, Juliette is sleeping through the night. For the first time in over nine years, I am getting a solid seven hours of sleep a night. Combined with the beautiful summer weather I'm about bursting with energy.
Lazy days by a friend's pond, soccer games, parks, bike rides, tennis, geocaching, ball hockey. Reading, reading and more reading (Colin is going through 1-2 novels a day!) Looking ahead to some camping trips, a soccer camp, and maybe getting Ben's training wheels off. Life is good.
Tuesday, 15 July 2014
Calebite
Colin and Caleb have become voracious readers, and so our local library is once again being ravaged by their little hands. Last week Caleb took out a graphic novel. Yesterday he finished it, and was excited to share with me:
"Mom, it's called "War of the Worlds." I thought it was going to be a history book about all the wars that have been fought by all the countries..."
(that's what he was hoping it was about? Strange subject matter for a six year old.)
"...but instead it was about these aliens who come and invade earth."
He continued on, telling me the beginnings of the story. Then, his vocabulary shifted, and he began to relate the story in first person:
"The next thing I knew I was in this cage. All the others were adults. I started looking around for some way to get the lock open....
...the aliens were coming down on us hard, and I was so afraid inside...
...the aliens were killing everyone around me, until there were only four of us left..."
I listened, amazed. I know that the idea of a book is that you find yourself immersed in a world. But I have never heard a child tell the storyline of a book in first person, as though they were experiencing it themselves.
"Then I was just too frightened by it all, so I tried to shake myself out of it and just finish reading it."
I don't know if he saw himself in the plot or if he drifted off in a daydream, but either way Caleb's imagination is more vivid than any other child I've met.
Monday, 30 June 2014
Starting summer
Summer is here. I am excited for outdoor play but terrified of four children tripping over each other inside. Our basement is unfinished and for storage, and no one uses the upstairs for anything other than sleeping (the bedrooms are tiny and are crammed with beds.) This means that the five of us have the square of a downstairs to spend all our time in, all day, all summer. It's great in that I always know what is going on. There are no secret projects that might jeopardize the carpets or a game that lands a little one stuck in or under furniture. It's hard in that the "noise, noise, noise, noise!" (like the Grinch) is loud and incessant.
I sure am glad my two older children are readers, because every now and then they will quiet down to curl up with a book. The rest of the time I have no fewer than two "Mommy!" calls and three requests at any one time. That is no exaggeration. Today I did not get lunch until 3pm because there was always another little thing to attend to. So while today was a lot of fun, it was also mentally exhausting. I am an independent introvert who needs quiet to concentrate. So having four dependant children who all have a constant stream of sound escaping their lips and who want me involved in everything they think, say or do, is a little hard for me.
That being said, I hope I have organized the summer in a way to accentuate the positive aspects of my kids being home and limit the negative moments. We have week long camping trips planned, one in July and one in August. The kids have swim lessons every Friday morning and soccer every Wednesday night. All three kids have one week of day camp through a local town, and the two older boys have one week of soccer camp in the morning. We also have a weekly open invite to a friend's home, who has children who match up with mine, and has a big country property and a swimming pond full of frogs. I hope she doesn't tire of me being there week after week.
Mornings are for being out. If we are "home" (we have no engagement somewhere else) then we will be at the park. We have so many good parks around town we can do a different one each day and that would last more than a week. My kids are bundles of energy and need a really high activity level every day so that there's an iota of hope that they will crash at a reasonable hour.
While Juliette naps in the afternoon, we have a mini summer school program set up. I want the boys to keep up a little of what they have learned this past year. The boys will do 20 minutes of math, 20 minutes of reading (French and English) and then 20 minutes of writing (stories or journal.) We all set up at the kitchen table and I have my own work also: a time to hopefully hunker down and do some writing. We started today with great success. Although my talkative, extroverted children had a hard time working independently, which meant that my own writing was meagre and weak. I have discovered that they just love to share. Everything that crosses their eyesight inspires a question, and when they are out of questions they just open their mouths to share the stream of consciousness rolling around in their thoughts. For someone who can't even have music on while I work, it makes me wonder at the different learning and work styles out there.
Juliette is an early napper, so there is still a good chunk of the day left when she wakes up. Today we went to another park with our new tennis rackets and a wrench to take of Benjamin's training wheels (who apparently knows by natural instinct how to ride a two-wheeler, because he just got on and rode.) This all meant that dinner was late, but since the kids were home all day they were snacking all day, so no one complained.
Well, that's where we are, day two of summer vacation. If these first days are any indication then we will all use every ounce of energy and strength we have, collapsing into bed while the sun still shines. But it's a good busy, a healthy busy.
I sure am glad my two older children are readers, because every now and then they will quiet down to curl up with a book. The rest of the time I have no fewer than two "Mommy!" calls and three requests at any one time. That is no exaggeration. Today I did not get lunch until 3pm because there was always another little thing to attend to. So while today was a lot of fun, it was also mentally exhausting. I am an independent introvert who needs quiet to concentrate. So having four dependant children who all have a constant stream of sound escaping their lips and who want me involved in everything they think, say or do, is a little hard for me.
That being said, I hope I have organized the summer in a way to accentuate the positive aspects of my kids being home and limit the negative moments. We have week long camping trips planned, one in July and one in August. The kids have swim lessons every Friday morning and soccer every Wednesday night. All three kids have one week of day camp through a local town, and the two older boys have one week of soccer camp in the morning. We also have a weekly open invite to a friend's home, who has children who match up with mine, and has a big country property and a swimming pond full of frogs. I hope she doesn't tire of me being there week after week.
Mornings are for being out. If we are "home" (we have no engagement somewhere else) then we will be at the park. We have so many good parks around town we can do a different one each day and that would last more than a week. My kids are bundles of energy and need a really high activity level every day so that there's an iota of hope that they will crash at a reasonable hour.
While Juliette naps in the afternoon, we have a mini summer school program set up. I want the boys to keep up a little of what they have learned this past year. The boys will do 20 minutes of math, 20 minutes of reading (French and English) and then 20 minutes of writing (stories or journal.) We all set up at the kitchen table and I have my own work also: a time to hopefully hunker down and do some writing. We started today with great success. Although my talkative, extroverted children had a hard time working independently, which meant that my own writing was meagre and weak. I have discovered that they just love to share. Everything that crosses their eyesight inspires a question, and when they are out of questions they just open their mouths to share the stream of consciousness rolling around in their thoughts. For someone who can't even have music on while I work, it makes me wonder at the different learning and work styles out there.
Juliette is an early napper, so there is still a good chunk of the day left when she wakes up. Today we went to another park with our new tennis rackets and a wrench to take of Benjamin's training wheels (who apparently knows by natural instinct how to ride a two-wheeler, because he just got on and rode.) This all meant that dinner was late, but since the kids were home all day they were snacking all day, so no one complained.
Well, that's where we are, day two of summer vacation. If these first days are any indication then we will all use every ounce of energy and strength we have, collapsing into bed while the sun still shines. But it's a good busy, a healthy busy.
Juliettables
At church on Sunday (being the Sunday before Canada Day) we stood as a congregation to sing "O Canada." My children sang with gusto, having had lots of practice both at school, before Maple Leaf Games on Hockey Night in Canada, and before playing ball hockey or mini-sticks at home. Even Juliette is familiar with the words to give a good "CA-NA-DA!" when she here's it, and hitting the last word in every phrase loudly and clearly.
When the last notes of the organ died away and everyone sat down (luckily making a good amount of shuffling noise) Juliette asked loudly "Hockey game now?"
When the last notes of the organ died away and everyone sat down (luckily making a good amount of shuffling noise) Juliette asked loudly "Hockey game now?"
Saturday, 28 June 2014
Rep Sports
I love sports. I come from a family that aren't really athletes. My own interest developed when I was a child and grew greater and greater each year. I played on school teams, city teams, and then in house league teams as an adult. I played baseball and soccer and field hockey and volleyball. If there's a game on, you can bet I'm in.
My children have developed that same love, and it excites me. I have always loved the idea of a family getting together to play a game of this or that. Touch football at Thanksgiving or volleyball at the beach or soccer at the cottage...those pickup games that go on until everyone collapses in exhaustion and partakes in a big meal.
I have never loved the idea of "rep" sports. These are usually la crème de la crème of young players. The fees are big, the schedule is overwhelming, and the travel can be exhausting and expensive. Usually one child in the family makes the team and the rest are left being lugged along. "No child of mine will ever play rep sports."
Well, you should know that the first rule of parenting is "never say never." Because once you set your foot down on something you will be faced with exactly that dilemma.
Up until this year, we have had the boys in baseball leagues in the summer. But over the school year this year, both Colin and Caleb have played so many soccer games at recess and lunch I've lost count. In fact, I could probably count on two hands the number of recesses they didn't play soccer. And in a small school, it meant they were playing with and learning from the older kids, which pushed their natural talent and developed into real skills.
I just never realized how far they had come. Last month Colin was at a birthday party of a good friend whose parents we know well. The birthday boy's father (a good friend of James') approached James at the end of the party and asked if he could submit Colin's name for the town's rep soccer team. It took James by surprise, but this Dad, whose kids are really into the soccer scene, insisted that Colin was good. Really, really good.
The conversation was compassionate, but short. We explained the fees were too high and the schedule too time-consuming. Colin was sad but we agreed to look into switching him to a more competitive league next year. (This year all three boys are playing in a very casual, fun league, with parent volunteers for coaching. It's more of a chance to play than an opportunity to learn any real skills.)
This week, however, my mind started shifting. At our Wednesday night soccer league, I was cheering as Caleb scored a goal on his team. His age division is ages 6-8, so he is probably the very youngest person in his whole league. But he owned the field. I was really surprised to see the skill with which he handled the ball. Of the 5 goals his team scored, he got 4. The other team scored 1. I cheered wildly at his goal, and then was approached by a dad of a girl on our team. "Are you Caleb's mom?" he asked. I nodded, and he looked at me quite seriously. I imaged I was going to be chastised for letting my son be a ball hog. I had been worrying about it as I watched, but it wasn't that Caleb was barrelling in and stealing the ball from everyone, it was just that he could actually carry it down the field. "He's good. He's really, really good." Those same words I heard about Colin echoed again. I nodded dumbly. But that wasn't the end. "I grew up in England and played football (soccer) in some pretty big leagues. Some of my teammates are now playing in the world cup. Your son is really good, and if you can get him in a rep league, he will go far."
I don't think I visibly shuddered at the words "rep league" this time. The dad left me in my stupor, and dribbled his soccer ball farther down the sidelines. I saw him later doing a bunch of tricks with the ball that were frankly amazing. He clearly knew what he was talking about.
All of a sudden I'm on the other side of the fence. Before I would peer over and look down upon the idea of such a thing, but I never thought my children would have the kind of skill necessary to try out. Not that I don't expect my kids to excel, but it is a very elite kind of natural ability you need to ever start the hard work necessary to join the team. But here I am.
What do I do? This is obviously not about my kids becoming professionals. That is a whole other kettle of fish in terms of talent, and not a world I want my kids to becoming embroiled in. But what happens when a child of your shows an unusual level of talent in something? If it was music, would I have such a hard time committing to recitals and practicing and expensive lessons? What if it was academic? Space camp or extra tutoring? Do I have a prejudice against time and money or against sports specifically? I have always been an advocate of childhood being about learning and exploration and fun. But if my child has the desire, drive and ability to do something more, something specific, how do you deal with it?
For now, we've told the boys that next year we will move them to a more competitive league, and see what happens. If they have friends in rep, if they could be on the same team, if we could use gift money or fundraising, if we could somehow create a balanced schedule...is it possibly in our future?
(Never say never.)
My children have developed that same love, and it excites me. I have always loved the idea of a family getting together to play a game of this or that. Touch football at Thanksgiving or volleyball at the beach or soccer at the cottage...those pickup games that go on until everyone collapses in exhaustion and partakes in a big meal.
I have never loved the idea of "rep" sports. These are usually la crème de la crème of young players. The fees are big, the schedule is overwhelming, and the travel can be exhausting and expensive. Usually one child in the family makes the team and the rest are left being lugged along. "No child of mine will ever play rep sports."
Well, you should know that the first rule of parenting is "never say never." Because once you set your foot down on something you will be faced with exactly that dilemma.
Up until this year, we have had the boys in baseball leagues in the summer. But over the school year this year, both Colin and Caleb have played so many soccer games at recess and lunch I've lost count. In fact, I could probably count on two hands the number of recesses they didn't play soccer. And in a small school, it meant they were playing with and learning from the older kids, which pushed their natural talent and developed into real skills.
I just never realized how far they had come. Last month Colin was at a birthday party of a good friend whose parents we know well. The birthday boy's father (a good friend of James') approached James at the end of the party and asked if he could submit Colin's name for the town's rep soccer team. It took James by surprise, but this Dad, whose kids are really into the soccer scene, insisted that Colin was good. Really, really good.
The conversation was compassionate, but short. We explained the fees were too high and the schedule too time-consuming. Colin was sad but we agreed to look into switching him to a more competitive league next year. (This year all three boys are playing in a very casual, fun league, with parent volunteers for coaching. It's more of a chance to play than an opportunity to learn any real skills.)
This week, however, my mind started shifting. At our Wednesday night soccer league, I was cheering as Caleb scored a goal on his team. His age division is ages 6-8, so he is probably the very youngest person in his whole league. But he owned the field. I was really surprised to see the skill with which he handled the ball. Of the 5 goals his team scored, he got 4. The other team scored 1. I cheered wildly at his goal, and then was approached by a dad of a girl on our team. "Are you Caleb's mom?" he asked. I nodded, and he looked at me quite seriously. I imaged I was going to be chastised for letting my son be a ball hog. I had been worrying about it as I watched, but it wasn't that Caleb was barrelling in and stealing the ball from everyone, it was just that he could actually carry it down the field. "He's good. He's really, really good." Those same words I heard about Colin echoed again. I nodded dumbly. But that wasn't the end. "I grew up in England and played football (soccer) in some pretty big leagues. Some of my teammates are now playing in the world cup. Your son is really good, and if you can get him in a rep league, he will go far."
I don't think I visibly shuddered at the words "rep league" this time. The dad left me in my stupor, and dribbled his soccer ball farther down the sidelines. I saw him later doing a bunch of tricks with the ball that were frankly amazing. He clearly knew what he was talking about.
All of a sudden I'm on the other side of the fence. Before I would peer over and look down upon the idea of such a thing, but I never thought my children would have the kind of skill necessary to try out. Not that I don't expect my kids to excel, but it is a very elite kind of natural ability you need to ever start the hard work necessary to join the team. But here I am.
What do I do? This is obviously not about my kids becoming professionals. That is a whole other kettle of fish in terms of talent, and not a world I want my kids to becoming embroiled in. But what happens when a child of your shows an unusual level of talent in something? If it was music, would I have such a hard time committing to recitals and practicing and expensive lessons? What if it was academic? Space camp or extra tutoring? Do I have a prejudice against time and money or against sports specifically? I have always been an advocate of childhood being about learning and exploration and fun. But if my child has the desire, drive and ability to do something more, something specific, how do you deal with it?
For now, we've told the boys that next year we will move them to a more competitive league, and see what happens. If they have friends in rep, if they could be on the same team, if we could use gift money or fundraising, if we could somehow create a balanced schedule...is it possibly in our future?
(Never say never.)
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