Busy

New year. New goals.  Not ramping things up, but slowing things down.

September is, and will be for many years, the new year.  It's a time to rethink how things are going, to clean out the clutter, to refocus my efforts and make some goals.  This year though, I want to do that by easing up on my days.

I feel that this year will be a year of writing.  Currently I'm in the middle of writing a screenplay.  We're in full pre-production swing and aiming to shoot next March/April.  It's an exciting process that has really kicked me back into gear for writing.

The nice thing about writing is that, for the most part, it's a solitary exercise.  I must force myself to withdraw from the busyness, give myself some space and some breathing room, and slow down enough to immerse myself in fictional lives.

And, as always, I'm constantly trying to get rid of the stuff that surrounds us.  These days I feel like I stand in a room and just stare, trying to find ways to simplify what's around me.  Last week the boys ended up at the wrong end of my futile efforts when I forced them to clean out their "stuff boxes."

This is my last year with Juliette home.  It's already tough, as usual, with her intensity and independence.  But I'm hoping we can find some fall forests to wander through, some adventures through the library, and perhaps even some ventures out of town (how long has it been since I left our little town?)

So here's to a new year, with a little less busyness around.

Days

Today was a day.

I marvelled at Caleb.  He told me he'd decided on a career - a nuclear scientist.  He wants to figure out how to "neutralize nuclear bombs before they go off." (his words.)  So he found a science book that explained the theory behind nuclear energy.  Then he came up with the idea that, because the protons and neutrons and electrons spin in a tight cycle, and if he came up with a second layer that spun even tighter it might prevent the destabilization and detonation.

I got news that a screenplay I wrote passed the last hurdle before going into preproduction.

I met a wonderful kindred spirit at a friend's house, and when I left I couldn't wait to meet again.

I hashed out some organizing issues with some smart women, and I realized that I don't have to own all the decisions about how to keep this place clean.  Two things have bugged me for a while... The first is how frustrated I get at having to organize and reorganize my husband's clothing drawers every week.  Every week I take everything out and put it back in nicely, in order.  And every day he rummages around and messes it all up.  I would stew about how he doesn't appreciate my effort enough to keep it tidy.  Well, today I realized that not only does he probably not mind the drawer that way, he probably never even noticed whether it was tidy or not.  So now I just shove it all in each week, and he hasn't noticed and I don't fume.  The second is that he always put his work and church binders on the cubby in our front hall.  I would clear the mess down to his office in frustration, and then he would be frustrated the next morning when he went to pick up the binders and they weren't where he left them.  So today I gave him a cubby box for his binders.  Problem solved.

Juliette screamed for an hour in protest at bedtime.  But the boys all read to themselves for 45 minutes and then turned out their own light promptly at 8pm.

I paced around the house, desperate to purge and realizing there isn't much more to go.  And still I don't feel quite settled with it.

I sat out in the backyard of my friend, taking in the quietness of the country and the indigo jewel of a pond and the hazy air and the infinite shades of green.  I was there for 4 hours, and the light was perfect every single minute.

These are the days I'm living.

Small miracles

Today at church we talked with the primary children about miracles.  It's easy to read and talk about miracles written about in the scriptures, but we wanted to emphasize how miracles happen today, whether big or small.

I was impressed to share how important it is to record our personal miracles, to write them down and then share them often in our family.  The days just zip by and it's easy to forget the small miracles that God grants us.  In that spirit, I wanted to record a little miracle we experienced last week.

At camp last week, we had 10 moms and 45 kids, and a forecast that included rain.  While none of us minded rain while we swam, there is nothing worse than setting up or taking down tents, and packing up, in the pouring rain.  And Wednesday night, as we sat around the fire near midnight, that's exactly what we were facing the next day.  The local forecast called for heavy rain starting at 3 in the morning and not letting up all night or all the next day.  There was part of us that steeled ourselves against the possibility of climbing into vans sopping wet, but we weren't going to just resign ourselves to that fact.

Instead, ten moms raised their voices to heaven and prayed for the rain to hold off long enough to get the entire camp packed up.  Our children heard our desire to pray, and we prayed that they might have a chance to witness the power of prayer.

I was awaked at 3 am to the sound of rain tapping on the tent.  I fell asleep once again in prayer.

I woke again at 6 am to the sound of moms hauling gear to their vans.  When I unzipped my tent and stepped out, blue sky stretched above me.  The rain from the night had dried and left our tents ready to pack up.  For three hours all 55 of us worked hard, packing up, sweeping, cleaning, tidying, feeding hungry children.  Strange wispy grey clouds would occasionally gather above but when I looked back up they were gone within seconds.  Finally, as we all gathered under the pavilion at nine am, the last mother was just coming up from the beach area as the heavens opened and thunderous rain poured down in a torrential storm.

It was small, but so meaningful.  Someone commented about how the prayers of 10 righteous mothers cannot be ignored.  I just love that my children were able to see the tender mercies of God, even in the small things.

As the summer flies by

For the first summer, we are nap free and diaper free.  This has opened up so many wonderful possibilities!

I've already packed in two camping trips in August (just me and the kids), plus many swims at a friend's pond, rollerblading at the outdoor rink, geocaching and hiking, kayaking (even Juliette!) meet ups at parks and friend's houses, and soccer, soccer and soccer!  We've had late nights and lazy mornings, but mostly we've been going from sun-up until well past sun down.  I've tried to say "yes" as often as I can.

Our reading challenge went more amazingly than I could imagine.  Colin took things to a whole new level by reading and entire children's bible (350+ pages that includes almost every chapter of the bible) in three days, and then also an entire section of the Book of Mormon (1 Nephi) in one day.  His understanding of the overarching events grew leaps and bounds through this challenge.  Caleb tried to keep up, but I kept having to remind myself that he is two years younger and perhaps needs a bit of an easier challenge than his older brother.  Even Ben was inspired, and so disappointed in himself that he can't read chapter books yet (but he did get in many, many, many first reader books.)

There are two and a half weeks left, and we still have one more epic weekend camping trip, plus one last soccer tournament and two more games.  The weeks have flown by, but there will be no regrets as the temperatures cool and school starts up again.  What a blast we have had.

School spirit

If you speak with me even for a few minutes about my kids' school, you will quickly catch the enthusiasm I have for it. We enrolled our children in the local Francophone school (different from French Immersion.) There are about 120 kids in the school now, up from 75 when Colin started in senior kindergarten. Almost every class is a split grade (which I love.)  There are a grand total of 9 teachers in the whole school.  My kids have had 6/9 of them, and we will add one more to that total come September.  The principal, the secretary and all the teachers know all the students. There are many opportunities for learning and interaction with children of all ages.  Plus the french language education is exquisite.  18/20 new junior kindergarten students do not speak any french at all on their first day of school (despite having at least one parent fluent in the language.)  By December, they are all fluent.  While the school may lack in fundraising capabilities (because of the low number of families) and extra curricular activities (due to manpower), I still love our choice.

One recent memory has been permanently etched in my mind, and it exemplified the great big family quality that our school has.  At the end of the year talent show, the grade 5/6 class performed a dance to the popular french song "Magic in the Air." It's a super fun dance song, with a great beat that makes you want to get up and move.  As soon as the first few notes rang through the gym, the rest of the students cheered; clearly this was a song popular in every grade.  The 5/6 students were cheered through the first half of the song, clapping, whistling.  But then, bit by bit, the rest of the school could no longer hold back.  Everyone was soon on their feet, students and teachers and parents alike, as we all sang and danced along.  Over 200 people moved in unison, feeling the energy of the song and the school.

Our school is such a great example of community.  Everyone is working together, living together, loving together.  This isn't just a bunch of bricks guarding our kids for 6 hours a day.  This is a place we are growing together.

One square house

I'm in a mood right now, and you should probably stop me if I try to list my house for sale.

We spent last week at a cottage.  It was rectangle in shape.  In the middle was one large gathering room, with couches, chairs and a fireplace on one side and a long dining room table that seated 10 on the other.  Two bedrooms stemmed off one end and two off the other.  There was a small outcropping on the side for the kitchen and bathroom.

I sat there one evening and watched the 11 children play and 8 adults chat, and I thought this is really all the space we need.  This tiny cottage had four bedrooms, which is one more than we currently have.  It had a large gathering space where many people could mingle without it feeling over crowded.  The whole thing must have been less than 500 square feet and it felt more than adequate.

I've felt similar in pioneer replicas of homes, where small spaces felt not only comfortable but even spacious, using an open concept and without stuffing them full of unnecessary things.

I'm feeling an urge to simplify again...

Benjaminugget

We spent last week up at a cottage with my grandmother, my sisters, my cousin, and all our little kids (11 in all.) All of my kids loved every minute, but none more than Ben. Given the freedom to explore the world at large on his own, to dig in the sand, jump in the lake, fish to his heart's content, climb over the park, and generally wander to feed his imagination, he was a completely different boy.

So often at home he gets caught in whining cycles, crying about not keeping up with his brothers, teasing his sister, a little lost for what to do. He's like a lion pacing in a cage and it all explodes in bad behaviour. I always knew he did better out of doors, but to see him thrive like that was joyful. Now I have to figure out a way to keep this boy out of doors all summer.