I shouldn't be surprised (and I'm not, really), but Colin is ever emgerging as a leader. He absolutely loves to be around people - kids, teens, adults, any age will do - and loves to be guiding them in whatever activity he creates. Sometimes it's a little trying, while he's this young. Yesterday we attended a library reading group, and Colin was up and exploring most of the time. And as soon as the other kids saw him roaming, a few started to follow him, while others just kept their eyes trained on him. Either way, Colin was blazing the trail. Luckily, most of the mothers there seemed to be okay with it. I've been to a few groups where the parents clearly don't allow as much exploration as I do, and are visibly upset that I allow Colin as much freedom. Once Colin is going, their children don't see why they can't follow.
He might gather a group around him, but Colin is definitely leading the way as to what and how they explore. At one point he lied down on the ground to get a better view of the ceiling. When two others lied down beside him, Colin decided that he'd had enough and jumped up again. He is definitely not influenced easily by others.
Which, one day, I hope will serve him well. The most influential years are inarguably the teen years, and it is at this time that I hope his leadership skills don't fail him. I want him to be able to run to the beat of his own drum, and not feel obligated to do something just because the others are. I know how difficult that is, and how hard I tried at times to fit in. I have a cousin who is naturally individualistic, and looking back she may have been high maintenance and ofttimes a little princess, but at least she was leading the charge. She expressed herself the way she wanted, and few people could influence her otherwise.
It's hard to say what will happen in the future, but for now I will tolerate the other mothers' stares, defiantly sticking to my guns that Colin's independant leadership qualities will do him more good than harm in the end.
Wednesday, 16 January 2008
Monday, 14 January 2008
Family History
This year our church congregation is having a special focus on Family History. I have to admit, this is an area in which I have great interest, but little drive. Every so often I light a fire under me and jump into genealogy, entering names of relatives into family charts and enjoying trying to keep it all straight. However, it never lasts long. Quoting a friend, "Family history is for when you're retired and have lots of time on your hands."
But I know how important keeping a family history is. I know I enjoy hearing stories from my grandparents, and imagining all the different members of our family's past. I've never been a faithful written journal keeper - this online blog is the closest thing to consistency I've got. I also know that my own grandkids, or great grandkids, etc. would probably really enjoy learning about who I was and the things I did.
So I've decided to come at this a different way. I want to start compiling stories from my relatives. The plan is to videotape them as they recount their past and memories, and then I will transcribe it all into a little book. I had had this idea earlier in the year, and now I'm really going to jump on it. How neat will it be that my kids could pull a book off the shelf and it's all about their own grandparents, or great grandparents? I've had the blessing of having a young family, and so many of my older relatives are still with us. However, I know that as my children grow, they won't have the privilege of knowing them as well as I do.
So this is going to be my second project of the year...I'll keep you posted on the progress!
But I know how important keeping a family history is. I know I enjoy hearing stories from my grandparents, and imagining all the different members of our family's past. I've never been a faithful written journal keeper - this online blog is the closest thing to consistency I've got. I also know that my own grandkids, or great grandkids, etc. would probably really enjoy learning about who I was and the things I did.
So I've decided to come at this a different way. I want to start compiling stories from my relatives. The plan is to videotape them as they recount their past and memories, and then I will transcribe it all into a little book. I had had this idea earlier in the year, and now I'm really going to jump on it. How neat will it be that my kids could pull a book off the shelf and it's all about their own grandparents, or great grandparents? I've had the blessing of having a young family, and so many of my older relatives are still with us. However, I know that as my children grow, they won't have the privilege of knowing them as well as I do.
So this is going to be my second project of the year...I'll keep you posted on the progress!
Working Man
(Conversation at lunch the other day)
Colin: Where's Daddy?
Mom: At work.
Colin: Ma?
Mom: Ma is working, too. And Pa is working, and Auntie Jennifer is working, and Auntie Krystal is working and Uncle Jesse is working.
Colin: Mommy not working?
Mom: Yes, Mommy is working. I get to work at home. My work is playing with you and making lunch and tidying up.
Colin: (pause) Colin work too?
Mom: Where would you like to work?
Colin: Work at nursery. (Nursery is the class Colin attends Sundays at church, for 1 1/2-3 year olds)
Mom: That sounds like fun. What would you do at work?
Colin: Play toys, with Timmy and Grayson. (His friends)
Mom: That sounds like a great job.
Colin: (nods with satisfaction) Colin go to work.
Colin: Where's Daddy?
Mom: At work.
Colin: Ma?
Mom: Ma is working, too. And Pa is working, and Auntie Jennifer is working, and Auntie Krystal is working and Uncle Jesse is working.
Colin: Mommy not working?
Mom: Yes, Mommy is working. I get to work at home. My work is playing with you and making lunch and tidying up.
Colin: (pause) Colin work too?
Mom: Where would you like to work?
Colin: Work at nursery. (Nursery is the class Colin attends Sundays at church, for 1 1/2-3 year olds)
Mom: That sounds like fun. What would you do at work?
Colin: Play toys, with Timmy and Grayson. (His friends)
Mom: That sounds like a great job.
Colin: (nods with satisfaction) Colin go to work.
Thursday, 10 January 2008
But...
If I could remove a word from our vocabulary, I think it would be this: "but".
James and I discovered the poison of the word "but" last summer after one of our disagreements. We had had an argument, taken a little breathing time, and had come back together to appologize. It went something like: "I'm sorry, but I just didn't have the time."
What we discovered was that "I'm sorry" followed by the word "but" doesn't really feel like an apology. It says something more like "I'm sorry you were so wrong" or "I'm sorry I am still right". Really saying your sorry means you're sorry, period.
You'd be surprised how easy it is to add the word "but" into your sentences. "I'd love to but..." "I wanted to but..." It seems to make what you're saying disingenuious. Let's take the "but" out and get down to what we we're really trying to say.
This all came to mind again yesterday while I was in the Book of Luke, in the New Testament. Jesus calls to two different men to come and follow him. The first says he will, but just let him go bury his father (an expression meaning to look after aged parents until their death). The second says he will, but first let him go and say goodbye to his family at home. Both men have included "buts", or conditions, of their following Jesus. Jesus' response: "No man, having put his hand to the plough and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God."
How many times have I said "Lord I will, but..."? How many times have I dedicated and re-dedicated myself to Him, only to look back? I can't stand to feel discouragement, and so I try to remind myself that He will forgive my weaknesses as many times as I put myself back on the road. And yet every day seems filled with "buts". I only hope that this new awareness stays with me, so that the next time those three letters start to escape my lips, I can catch myself and just do it, no ifs, ands, or buts.
James and I discovered the poison of the word "but" last summer after one of our disagreements. We had had an argument, taken a little breathing time, and had come back together to appologize. It went something like: "I'm sorry, but I just didn't have the time."
What we discovered was that "I'm sorry" followed by the word "but" doesn't really feel like an apology. It says something more like "I'm sorry you were so wrong" or "I'm sorry I am still right". Really saying your sorry means you're sorry, period.
You'd be surprised how easy it is to add the word "but" into your sentences. "I'd love to but..." "I wanted to but..." It seems to make what you're saying disingenuious. Let's take the "but" out and get down to what we we're really trying to say.
This all came to mind again yesterday while I was in the Book of Luke, in the New Testament. Jesus calls to two different men to come and follow him. The first says he will, but just let him go bury his father (an expression meaning to look after aged parents until their death). The second says he will, but first let him go and say goodbye to his family at home. Both men have included "buts", or conditions, of their following Jesus. Jesus' response: "No man, having put his hand to the plough and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God."
How many times have I said "Lord I will, but..."? How many times have I dedicated and re-dedicated myself to Him, only to look back? I can't stand to feel discouragement, and so I try to remind myself that He will forgive my weaknesses as many times as I put myself back on the road. And yet every day seems filled with "buts". I only hope that this new awareness stays with me, so that the next time those three letters start to escape my lips, I can catch myself and just do it, no ifs, ands, or buts.
Tuesday, 8 January 2008
A Day in the life of Colic
(I want to note - this entry is not about garnering sympathy from readers - it is merely an entry of information).
Our little one has colic. For those of you not familiar with the term, it is basically a five-letter word for "I don't know". Doctors use the word when a baby is in pain and it has something to do with the digestive system. In an adult, the doctor would ask a variety of questions to narrow down the diagnosis. In babies, however, they are often unable to determine the problem. Most often it is summed up as an underdeveloped digestive system that just needs to "work itself out".
So what does having colic mean in day to day life? It means your baby cries - a lot - inconsolably. It means tears stream down his face and his lips quiver, his feet wrenching up and down, back and forth, in and out. It means that he feeds irregularly and rarely sleeps. It means that he is never awake and happy, or even just sitting or lying down - if he is awake, he is crying, or about to cry if you stop rocking him or try to put him down. It means literally having to hold your baby anytime he is not sleeping, and often when he is sleeping. It means watching your precious little one in excruciating pain and knowing there is little you can do about it but try to comfort him in your arms.
**********
Diary of a Colicky Baby:
12am-2:30 am - the one block of sleep Caleb gets
2:30-3am - feeding
3am-5am - lying in bed, grunting, squirming, sniffling, wanting to sleep but unable to
5am - feeding
5:30-8am - crying, screaming, with one or two small 10 minute naps
8am - feeding
8:30 - 11am - crying, screaming, pausing only for a minute or two to catch his breath
11am - feeding
11:30 - 2pm - crying, which is calmed to sniffling as long as I am carrying him directly upright
2pm - feeding
2:30 - 5pm - crying, screaming, with a few 10 or 20 minute naps
5pm - feeding
5:30 - 11pm - crying, screaming, feeding on demand, a few naps as long as he is being held in the sling
11pm - feeding, in our bed, followed by sleep as long as he isn't moved at all
*********
I've heard about colic, but I never really understood it. A friend of mine experienced it with her newborn this year, and now truly sympathizes with our plight. The mother of a colicky baby does whatever she can to ease the crying, both for her baby's pain and her own sanity. We co-sleep, we feed on demand, we feed on a schedule, we let them sleep in a swing or a carseat or on our chests or anywhere that works. We forgo burping if they fall asleep feeding. We sit and cry right along with them. We make and break rules daily.
The doctor tells me prime colic time is 4-8 weeks. Caleb started right on cue at 4 weeks, and is now 8 and a half weeks. Today Caleb had two bouts of 3-4 minutes during which he was awake and not crying/whimpering. It actually scared me to see him just sitting there, eyes open, with no noise. I had to go over and interact with him, just to make sure everything was okay. We are praying (fervently!) that he is nearing the end of it, or that our two-month doctor's appointment tomorrow will provide some insight.
Now you know a little more about colic. In the words of my friend's mother (who had 8 children of her own) after 2 hours of baby-sitting her colicky grandson: "I had no idea it could be like that." I hope they are able to find a little bit more about 'colic' so that we are able to rid our vocabularies of this mysterious word and replace it with some real answers.
***
2017 - postscript
I noticed that this post regularly gets traffic, 8 years later. I wanted to note here that we now believe our "colicky" baby had undiagnosed food allergies. Our daughter born 4 years later had the same thing, and with new understandings of how food allergies can manifest in the body, we were able to get her body under control. In addition to crying all the time, Caleb (and our daughter, Juliette) had eczema. Caleb's cheeks would bleed it was so bad. Juliette's face would get a little puffy. Because the allergies were so many, food elimination diets didn't reveal anything. Juliette could not eat: gluten, oats, rice, beans, dairy, corn, or soy. If she stayed on strictly fruit, vegetables, eggs and meat her "colic" was gone and her skin stayed clear. Good news - she outgrew it by the age of four. Caleb, I believe, outgrew most of his between 2-4 (the colic stopped at 2, the eczema at 4). I also had to stick to Juliette's diet while I was nursing her. And Juliette's medical allergy test (scratch test) showed negative for everything, but our doctor said those tests are inconclusive before the age of 5, and from pictures of reactions said that indeed she did have the food allergies. We used a homeopathic doctor to help us with Juliette. We don't see that doctor for anything else, and we don't usually see a homeopathic doctor, but it did provide what we needed at the time. Obviously not all colic is allergy related, but I know how much mother's of colicky babies need information for anything that might possibly be an answer.
Our little one has colic. For those of you not familiar with the term, it is basically a five-letter word for "I don't know". Doctors use the word when a baby is in pain and it has something to do with the digestive system. In an adult, the doctor would ask a variety of questions to narrow down the diagnosis. In babies, however, they are often unable to determine the problem. Most often it is summed up as an underdeveloped digestive system that just needs to "work itself out".
So what does having colic mean in day to day life? It means your baby cries - a lot - inconsolably. It means tears stream down his face and his lips quiver, his feet wrenching up and down, back and forth, in and out. It means that he feeds irregularly and rarely sleeps. It means that he is never awake and happy, or even just sitting or lying down - if he is awake, he is crying, or about to cry if you stop rocking him or try to put him down. It means literally having to hold your baby anytime he is not sleeping, and often when he is sleeping. It means watching your precious little one in excruciating pain and knowing there is little you can do about it but try to comfort him in your arms.
**********
Diary of a Colicky Baby:
12am-2:30 am - the one block of sleep Caleb gets
2:30-3am - feeding
3am-5am - lying in bed, grunting, squirming, sniffling, wanting to sleep but unable to
5am - feeding
5:30-8am - crying, screaming, with one or two small 10 minute naps
8am - feeding
8:30 - 11am - crying, screaming, pausing only for a minute or two to catch his breath
11am - feeding
11:30 - 2pm - crying, which is calmed to sniffling as long as I am carrying him directly upright
2pm - feeding
2:30 - 5pm - crying, screaming, with a few 10 or 20 minute naps
5pm - feeding
5:30 - 11pm - crying, screaming, feeding on demand, a few naps as long as he is being held in the sling
11pm - feeding, in our bed, followed by sleep as long as he isn't moved at all
*********
I've heard about colic, but I never really understood it. A friend of mine experienced it with her newborn this year, and now truly sympathizes with our plight. The mother of a colicky baby does whatever she can to ease the crying, both for her baby's pain and her own sanity. We co-sleep, we feed on demand, we feed on a schedule, we let them sleep in a swing or a carseat or on our chests or anywhere that works. We forgo burping if they fall asleep feeding. We sit and cry right along with them. We make and break rules daily.
The doctor tells me prime colic time is 4-8 weeks. Caleb started right on cue at 4 weeks, and is now 8 and a half weeks. Today Caleb had two bouts of 3-4 minutes during which he was awake and not crying/whimpering. It actually scared me to see him just sitting there, eyes open, with no noise. I had to go over and interact with him, just to make sure everything was okay. We are praying (fervently!) that he is nearing the end of it, or that our two-month doctor's appointment tomorrow will provide some insight.
Now you know a little more about colic. In the words of my friend's mother (who had 8 children of her own) after 2 hours of baby-sitting her colicky grandson: "I had no idea it could be like that." I hope they are able to find a little bit more about 'colic' so that we are able to rid our vocabularies of this mysterious word and replace it with some real answers.
***
2017 - postscript
I noticed that this post regularly gets traffic, 8 years later. I wanted to note here that we now believe our "colicky" baby had undiagnosed food allergies. Our daughter born 4 years later had the same thing, and with new understandings of how food allergies can manifest in the body, we were able to get her body under control. In addition to crying all the time, Caleb (and our daughter, Juliette) had eczema. Caleb's cheeks would bleed it was so bad. Juliette's face would get a little puffy. Because the allergies were so many, food elimination diets didn't reveal anything. Juliette could not eat: gluten, oats, rice, beans, dairy, corn, or soy. If she stayed on strictly fruit, vegetables, eggs and meat her "colic" was gone and her skin stayed clear. Good news - she outgrew it by the age of four. Caleb, I believe, outgrew most of his between 2-4 (the colic stopped at 2, the eczema at 4). I also had to stick to Juliette's diet while I was nursing her. And Juliette's medical allergy test (scratch test) showed negative for everything, but our doctor said those tests are inconclusive before the age of 5, and from pictures of reactions said that indeed she did have the food allergies. We used a homeopathic doctor to help us with Juliette. We don't see that doctor for anything else, and we don't usually see a homeopathic doctor, but it did provide what we needed at the time. Obviously not all colic is allergy related, but I know how much mother's of colicky babies need information for anything that might possibly be an answer.
Wednesday, 2 January 2008
New Year's Resolutions
I am not making any New Year's Resolutions. I find it too depressing, as most resolutions have fallen by the wayside by the end of January. So I've decided I no longer believe in making New Year's Resolutions.
Really, it's the common concept of New Year's Resolutions that I take issue with. It implies writing up a list with three or five or ten numbered items, such as "I want to lose weight" or "I want to learn a new skill" or "I want to watch less television." Resolutions are rarely more than one line each, and often extremely vague.
The term "goal-setting" seems much more productive. Setting a goal involves stating the goal to be achieved, but also coming up with a list of steps which will take you toward that goal. When you realize the work involved in each goal, you are much more likely to set fewer goals, each one being more realisitc and specific than "resolutions".
However, I am not making any "New Year's Goals" either. I am making New Year's projects. I find the term project much more hands on. It inspires a work ethic. It has the sound of something I am starting and going to finish. Maybe it's leftover from my school days, during which I thrived on getting a project done. I may not have started them right away, but even as a last-minute worker I enjoyed the idea of doing a project and doing it well.
And so I have a few projects in mind that I'd like to accomplish. I have not set a time limit, as life with my kids is way too unpredictable. But I'm excited about the projects, excited enough that I don't think I will let these ones slip away and end up causing more disappointment than satisfaction.
Really, it's the common concept of New Year's Resolutions that I take issue with. It implies writing up a list with three or five or ten numbered items, such as "I want to lose weight" or "I want to learn a new skill" or "I want to watch less television." Resolutions are rarely more than one line each, and often extremely vague.
The term "goal-setting" seems much more productive. Setting a goal involves stating the goal to be achieved, but also coming up with a list of steps which will take you toward that goal. When you realize the work involved in each goal, you are much more likely to set fewer goals, each one being more realisitc and specific than "resolutions".
However, I am not making any "New Year's Goals" either. I am making New Year's projects. I find the term project much more hands on. It inspires a work ethic. It has the sound of something I am starting and going to finish. Maybe it's leftover from my school days, during which I thrived on getting a project done. I may not have started them right away, but even as a last-minute worker I enjoyed the idea of doing a project and doing it well.
And so I have a few projects in mind that I'd like to accomplish. I have not set a time limit, as life with my kids is way too unpredictable. But I'm excited about the projects, excited enough that I don't think I will let these ones slip away and end up causing more disappointment than satisfaction.
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