I wonder what it is about the idea of being a princess that speaks to the heart of us girls? Lately, my boys have discovered a couple of the old Disney films and storybooks, "Sleeping Beauty" and "Snow White." As I've spent time reading these favourites to them, I have had time to ponder on that little spark that flutters inside when I think about a young princess being swept off her feet by a handsome prince.
Many of these old stories (especially "Sleeping Beauty" and "Snow White") have much in common; in fact the plot lines of these two stories are so alike it's a wonder they both cam to such prominence. Disney has even capitalized on the princess idea, creating a "Princess Brand" and line for young girls, combining the many Disney princesses into a group that graces toys, clothes, linens and more.
This morning I read a news headline about the impending engagement and marriage of Prince William of England, to "commoner" Kate Middleton. And even as I read about this real life fairy tale, the flutter in my heart started to beat. Of course I don't expect to marry William and become a princess. But something in me heightens at the thought that some girl, any girl, could be swept off her feet be a real life prince and become a princess. Even in this modern world of feminism and women's rights, there is still something innate that is captivated by the possibility.
Wednesday, 7 April 2010
Benjaminuggets
My little guy is growing so fast! He loves to coo and laugh and cuddle. He will give a smile to anyone who smiles at him. Even when he is hungry or tired he can still squeeze out a little grin. He is so patient with me, when I have to split my time between the other boys, housework and cooking. He happily trudges along with the rest of us to appointments and playdates and activities. Although he doesn't generally fall asleep while we're out, he's happy to be sitting with me. He is at that cooing stage where he'll tell you little stories in a soft, light baby voice.
He's starting to sleep better for naps. He goes down for at least an hour at a time, and a few occasions has even slept for two hours. He also goes to sleep on his own, so I don't always have to lay down with him to get him to sleep. As along as I catch him before he gets overtired (which is a real science and art!) I can just swaddle him up, lay him down in the co-sleeper and walk out. He doesn't need any extended cuddling or singing to or rocking; in fact, that often has the opposite effect. The more you coddle him, the less likely he is to fall asleep without crying and needing repeated attention! I admit that I miss a little cuddling time with him before bed, but I know that it's detrimental to his sleep process, and so I have to make do with getting my cuddles in during the day. More than once I've been caught by a friend as I close my eyes, snuggle him into me, smell his hair, wrap my arms around him a little snugger. It's a little like having a first baby all over again, the way I dote on him.
He's still growing and growing. 16 pounds and counting... He into 6-9 month clothing already. It was only a few weeks back that I packed away and pulled out a set of clothes, and I think I'm going to have to do it again! He doesn't look like a huge 3 month old, he really just looks a lot bigger and older than he is. Most people guess he's about 6 months (still has that baby face!)
He still has red hair, so I'm pretty sure it's here to stay. And big blue laughing eyes. He also seems gentle. Perhaps it's just because he's a baby, calmer than his older brothers, and he can't run around or vocalize much yet, but he seems to be a gentle soul. James has taken to calling him our "Gentle Ben."
There is a magic connection that I believe is created from nursing a baby. I wasn't able to nurse Colin (due to his sensitivity to breast milk), and although I love all my children, there is definitely a connection that happens when you have a baby at your breast so often when they are young. I was speaking with a new friend the other day, and her mother nursed her until she was four and a half. She spoke very tenderly of her memories of nursing as a child, as she has vivid recollections of the experience. Something about a literally sharing yourself with your baby, something natural and primal, creates a unique bond not developed in any other way.
And so I continue to watch Benjamin as the days slip by faster and faster. He'll be walking and talking before I know it. Maybe that's one reason my patience is a little longer these days: I know they will be gone, unable to be recaptured, before long.
He's starting to sleep better for naps. He goes down for at least an hour at a time, and a few occasions has even slept for two hours. He also goes to sleep on his own, so I don't always have to lay down with him to get him to sleep. As along as I catch him before he gets overtired (which is a real science and art!) I can just swaddle him up, lay him down in the co-sleeper and walk out. He doesn't need any extended cuddling or singing to or rocking; in fact, that often has the opposite effect. The more you coddle him, the less likely he is to fall asleep without crying and needing repeated attention! I admit that I miss a little cuddling time with him before bed, but I know that it's detrimental to his sleep process, and so I have to make do with getting my cuddles in during the day. More than once I've been caught by a friend as I close my eyes, snuggle him into me, smell his hair, wrap my arms around him a little snugger. It's a little like having a first baby all over again, the way I dote on him.
He's still growing and growing. 16 pounds and counting... He into 6-9 month clothing already. It was only a few weeks back that I packed away and pulled out a set of clothes, and I think I'm going to have to do it again! He doesn't look like a huge 3 month old, he really just looks a lot bigger and older than he is. Most people guess he's about 6 months (still has that baby face!)
He still has red hair, so I'm pretty sure it's here to stay. And big blue laughing eyes. He also seems gentle. Perhaps it's just because he's a baby, calmer than his older brothers, and he can't run around or vocalize much yet, but he seems to be a gentle soul. James has taken to calling him our "Gentle Ben."
There is a magic connection that I believe is created from nursing a baby. I wasn't able to nurse Colin (due to his sensitivity to breast milk), and although I love all my children, there is definitely a connection that happens when you have a baby at your breast so often when they are young. I was speaking with a new friend the other day, and her mother nursed her until she was four and a half. She spoke very tenderly of her memories of nursing as a child, as she has vivid recollections of the experience. Something about a literally sharing yourself with your baby, something natural and primal, creates a unique bond not developed in any other way.
And so I continue to watch Benjamin as the days slip by faster and faster. He'll be walking and talking before I know it. Maybe that's one reason my patience is a little longer these days: I know they will be gone, unable to be recaptured, before long.
Sunday, 4 April 2010
Easter Weekend
As this Sunday comes to a close, I have a moment to reflect back on a wonderful weekend. It's been busy, fun, fulfilling, edifying. Combining the warm weather with Easter, family dinners and General Conference, I am wanting to linger a little longer in this holiday.
First, General Conference. What an inspiring 10 hours of talks! This is the first year I've ever given real heed to the counsel to prepare my mind before the conference starts. I didn't get a whole lot of time, but I did reflect Friday night in bed on some of the things I have going on in my life and areas that I thought needed some guidance. There were two big areas that came to mind: mothering, and scripture study. Both sessions on Saturday were overflowing with inspiration in exactly these two areas. I was amazed. Saturday morning was a little crazy, because it always overlaps lunch and naptime. But Julie Beck, the General Relief Society President, spoke right to my heart as a young mother, struggling to find time to get everything done. I've already re-listened to her talk again, and I know when the text comes in the Ensign magazine next month I'll have my highlighter out before I even open the pages. Saturday afternoon I went by myself to the chapel to listen to the afternoon session without the distraction of children. I was riveted. I don't think my mind wandered from the speakers for a single second. Every word was speaking to something I needed to hear. Inspiration was flowing through me; sometimes the words the speaker spoke were answers to questions, and othertimes they triggered a thought chain in my mind that led to an answer. In both cases it was as if I was in a university lecture with the Holy Spirit: I could barely keep up scribbling in my notebook all that I needed to remember!
Sunday morning session again fell during lunch and nap, and so I'll have to catch up with it again later. Many of the speakers spoke about Easter, the Saviour, and His resurrection. I can't remember the last time General Conference fell on Easter, although I'm sure it has many times. Although I missed having a traditional Easter church service, certainly the testimonies I heard at conference spoke with even more authority and conviction about the life and importance of Jesus. James is tucking the boys into bed right now, and then we'll catch the last session this evening.
This morning we showed the boys a short film about the life and death and resurrection of Jesus. Colin, his usual inquisitive self, asked a question every ten seconds or so. We encourage this in him, and so we were busy answering lots of questions. Because of the subject matter, we were a little wary at first on how much to explain. But in the end I figured if he was mature enough to process what he was seeing into a mature question, it deserved an honest answer. (We covered questions like "why are they hitting him?" "how does he die on the cross?" and "what is adultery?")
After the movie, Colin asked if we could make paper cutouts of Jesus and the cross. One of his favourite games of late is to draw characters from the movies he sees and then play with them, like paper dolls. I told him it wasn't appropriate to play with a cutout of Jesus and the cross. So he amended his request by saying that we could just draw it and then hang it as decoration. I agreed to this, but asked him to wait until I had finished making lunch. He disappeared to the playroom. When he emerged 10 minutes later, he presented to me a Lego creation. On a large green square, he had built a cross and added a little Lego man to the front. All around the square he had built a little fence, just like the scene in the film he saw. It was immediately recognizable as Jesus on the cross at Calvary. James and I were completely amazed that he had processed the scene in the movie and then recreated it so well.
This weekend also saw us playing host to both the Gawthroupe and the Martin family dinners. I got to try out my new table, sitting up to 12 people around it comfortably. Both meals were a giant success, without being so much work that I was worn out beyond the ability to enjoy the company. Friday weather was so beautiful and warm it actually begged for a barbecue, but the planned turkey dinner was thoroughly enjoyed by all. This afternoon I had a fantastic ham, pre-cooked and it came with its own glaze. There are some times when taking advantage of modern conveniences are totally worth it! (I am also grateful for a dishwasher this weekend!)
And so the weekend comes to a close. And yet, the more I ponder on it, although I won't likely experience these moments all crammed into one weekend again for a while, I will be able to recapture bits and pieces here. When my Ensign magazine comes with the conference talks, I want to study them closer, deeper, really pick them apart and apply the lessons I learn into my life. And now that the good weather has arrived, we hope to entertain friends and family more often.
First, General Conference. What an inspiring 10 hours of talks! This is the first year I've ever given real heed to the counsel to prepare my mind before the conference starts. I didn't get a whole lot of time, but I did reflect Friday night in bed on some of the things I have going on in my life and areas that I thought needed some guidance. There were two big areas that came to mind: mothering, and scripture study. Both sessions on Saturday were overflowing with inspiration in exactly these two areas. I was amazed. Saturday morning was a little crazy, because it always overlaps lunch and naptime. But Julie Beck, the General Relief Society President, spoke right to my heart as a young mother, struggling to find time to get everything done. I've already re-listened to her talk again, and I know when the text comes in the Ensign magazine next month I'll have my highlighter out before I even open the pages. Saturday afternoon I went by myself to the chapel to listen to the afternoon session without the distraction of children. I was riveted. I don't think my mind wandered from the speakers for a single second. Every word was speaking to something I needed to hear. Inspiration was flowing through me; sometimes the words the speaker spoke were answers to questions, and othertimes they triggered a thought chain in my mind that led to an answer. In both cases it was as if I was in a university lecture with the Holy Spirit: I could barely keep up scribbling in my notebook all that I needed to remember!
Sunday morning session again fell during lunch and nap, and so I'll have to catch up with it again later. Many of the speakers spoke about Easter, the Saviour, and His resurrection. I can't remember the last time General Conference fell on Easter, although I'm sure it has many times. Although I missed having a traditional Easter church service, certainly the testimonies I heard at conference spoke with even more authority and conviction about the life and importance of Jesus. James is tucking the boys into bed right now, and then we'll catch the last session this evening.
This morning we showed the boys a short film about the life and death and resurrection of Jesus. Colin, his usual inquisitive self, asked a question every ten seconds or so. We encourage this in him, and so we were busy answering lots of questions. Because of the subject matter, we were a little wary at first on how much to explain. But in the end I figured if he was mature enough to process what he was seeing into a mature question, it deserved an honest answer. (We covered questions like "why are they hitting him?" "how does he die on the cross?" and "what is adultery?")
After the movie, Colin asked if we could make paper cutouts of Jesus and the cross. One of his favourite games of late is to draw characters from the movies he sees and then play with them, like paper dolls. I told him it wasn't appropriate to play with a cutout of Jesus and the cross. So he amended his request by saying that we could just draw it and then hang it as decoration. I agreed to this, but asked him to wait until I had finished making lunch. He disappeared to the playroom. When he emerged 10 minutes later, he presented to me a Lego creation. On a large green square, he had built a cross and added a little Lego man to the front. All around the square he had built a little fence, just like the scene in the film he saw. It was immediately recognizable as Jesus on the cross at Calvary. James and I were completely amazed that he had processed the scene in the movie and then recreated it so well.
This weekend also saw us playing host to both the Gawthroupe and the Martin family dinners. I got to try out my new table, sitting up to 12 people around it comfortably. Both meals were a giant success, without being so much work that I was worn out beyond the ability to enjoy the company. Friday weather was so beautiful and warm it actually begged for a barbecue, but the planned turkey dinner was thoroughly enjoyed by all. This afternoon I had a fantastic ham, pre-cooked and it came with its own glaze. There are some times when taking advantage of modern conveniences are totally worth it! (I am also grateful for a dishwasher this weekend!)
And so the weekend comes to a close. And yet, the more I ponder on it, although I won't likely experience these moments all crammed into one weekend again for a while, I will be able to recapture bits and pieces here. When my Ensign magazine comes with the conference talks, I want to study them closer, deeper, really pick them apart and apply the lessons I learn into my life. And now that the good weather has arrived, we hope to entertain friends and family more often.
Friday, 2 April 2010
Easter Egg Hunt
Today we took advantage of the beautiful weather and had our Easter egg hunt in the backyard! Can anyone remember the last time we had 28 C weather at the beginning of April? The boys went down for their nap, and James and I waited until the last possible moment to dash around the yard and hide the little chocolate eggs. I know it's a strange time for an egg hunt, but the boys are young enough not to really get the whole Easter Bunny anyway, let alone realize that he comes on Sunday morning for the rest of the world. My family, including my Nana, came up this afternoon for Easter dinner, and I thought Nana and my sister Jennifer would love to see the boys dash around in search of chocolate. It was so much fun. It was hilarious to watch the boys trying to find the eggs, since they don't really have the skill of looking for details down yet. often they would be staring right at an egg and not see it! At one point, I was trying to direct Caleb to an egg at the base of a tree, without pointing directly to it. I told Caleb to "look at the tree" and he looked at the trunk about a foot off the ground. So I told him to look at his shoes, and he literally looked only at his shoes. Then I said look at the ground and he looked at the ground between his shoes and the tree. (I ended up having to point at the eggs.)
So there were James and I and Jennifer and her fiance Derek all running around the backyard with the boys, trying to search out all the eggs. (As James and I were hiding the last few eggs, I suddenly asked "should we have counted them to make sure the boys find them all?!") There was only one little netting of eggs, and we think we got them all (or some animal is going to get sick if it finds a stray egg!) Even after only being hidden for 30 minutes or so, many of the eggs were softening from the sun.
I was amazed to see how well the boy like to cooperate and share, and that they both have a good sense of fairness. I had hidden a string of eggs among the rock border of the garden, so that every 5 or 6 rocks there was an egg. When they got the idea that there were more than a few eggs hidden along the border, Colin grabbed one, and then stood back to allow Caleb to grab the next. They each took their turn and then dutifully stood aside for their brother. I was so pleased to see how they enjoyed helping each other, and how every egg they found was a delightful surprise for them. James questioned that I had only bought the one bag (they still had about 15 eggs each). Initially I simply hadn't wanted a huge stash of chocolate around for them (and us). But I also realized after the hunt that if there is a large amount to search for, the fun is lost after a while and boredom can easily set in at this age. Really, 15 was the perfect amount. They had just enough fun searching and then were ready and wanting to indulge in a few eggs when all were found.
It was such a lovely afternoon. We spent the entire day outside, and I had to tear myself away from lounging on the deck with everyone in order to get dinner on. It was the type of day one wants to barbecue, not prepare a roast dinner. But the food was lovely, and because we took advantage of cooking the turkey the day before, we didn't have to do a ton of cooking. The day was capped off with a Skype-visit from my parents in Australia. All in all, a wonderful, beautiful holiday, full of family, food and fun.
So there were James and I and Jennifer and her fiance Derek all running around the backyard with the boys, trying to search out all the eggs. (As James and I were hiding the last few eggs, I suddenly asked "should we have counted them to make sure the boys find them all?!") There was only one little netting of eggs, and we think we got them all (or some animal is going to get sick if it finds a stray egg!) Even after only being hidden for 30 minutes or so, many of the eggs were softening from the sun.
I was amazed to see how well the boy like to cooperate and share, and that they both have a good sense of fairness. I had hidden a string of eggs among the rock border of the garden, so that every 5 or 6 rocks there was an egg. When they got the idea that there were more than a few eggs hidden along the border, Colin grabbed one, and then stood back to allow Caleb to grab the next. They each took their turn and then dutifully stood aside for their brother. I was so pleased to see how they enjoyed helping each other, and how every egg they found was a delightful surprise for them. James questioned that I had only bought the one bag (they still had about 15 eggs each). Initially I simply hadn't wanted a huge stash of chocolate around for them (and us). But I also realized after the hunt that if there is a large amount to search for, the fun is lost after a while and boredom can easily set in at this age. Really, 15 was the perfect amount. They had just enough fun searching and then were ready and wanting to indulge in a few eggs when all were found.
It was such a lovely afternoon. We spent the entire day outside, and I had to tear myself away from lounging on the deck with everyone in order to get dinner on. It was the type of day one wants to barbecue, not prepare a roast dinner. But the food was lovely, and because we took advantage of cooking the turkey the day before, we didn't have to do a ton of cooking. The day was capped off with a Skype-visit from my parents in Australia. All in all, a wonderful, beautiful holiday, full of family, food and fun.
The i-pad
I was really excited watching the announcement for the launch of the new i-pad. Honestly, some of it was me just getting caught up in the hype. Apple is really good at that. But as an avid reader who is always buying books and hoarding books and storing books and trying to give books away and trying to decide what I should keep for future reading, the idea of being able to have all these books at my fingertips without a house-full of bookshelves was really appealing!
But I heard a conversation on the radio this morning, as the host mourned the impending i-pad and demise of the book. "How many times have you been sitting on a subway and seen someone reading a book? Maybe you see a book you read and loved and can start up a conversation with a stranger about a common love. Maybe you see something new and ask them how it is. Maybe you see something you've never seen and wonder if it might be of interest. Many times I have come to a new book simply by seeing someone else with it first. But with an i-pad, you'll never know what someone is reading."
That immediately hit home with me. One of my favourite "snooping" activities is to scan someone's bookshelf when I'm in their home. I think what a person reads can speak volumes about who they really are. So often we are presented with only one side of a person: for example, Emily is my church friend, Kathy is my music friend, Erin is my philosophy friend. We can talk for hours and hours with these friends, but usually only on a handful of subjects. But then I'm casually scanning a bookshelf and I see "War and Peace" and suddenly we're talking about a love of classics, or Russian culture. Or I see a book on using food as medicine and we launch into a debate on modern Western views on medicine and prevention.
An i-pad will eliminate one of my favourite secrets! Ah well, perhaps there will be a contingent of us who hang onto the hold way of the paperback book, reveling in the fanning of soft pages and turning down corners and marking up favourite passages. I wonder if there aren't some things that will be able to stand against technology?
But I heard a conversation on the radio this morning, as the host mourned the impending i-pad and demise of the book. "How many times have you been sitting on a subway and seen someone reading a book? Maybe you see a book you read and loved and can start up a conversation with a stranger about a common love. Maybe you see something new and ask them how it is. Maybe you see something you've never seen and wonder if it might be of interest. Many times I have come to a new book simply by seeing someone else with it first. But with an i-pad, you'll never know what someone is reading."
That immediately hit home with me. One of my favourite "snooping" activities is to scan someone's bookshelf when I'm in their home. I think what a person reads can speak volumes about who they really are. So often we are presented with only one side of a person: for example, Emily is my church friend, Kathy is my music friend, Erin is my philosophy friend. We can talk for hours and hours with these friends, but usually only on a handful of subjects. But then I'm casually scanning a bookshelf and I see "War and Peace" and suddenly we're talking about a love of classics, or Russian culture. Or I see a book on using food as medicine and we launch into a debate on modern Western views on medicine and prevention.
An i-pad will eliminate one of my favourite secrets! Ah well, perhaps there will be a contingent of us who hang onto the hold way of the paperback book, reveling in the fanning of soft pages and turning down corners and marking up favourite passages. I wonder if there aren't some things that will be able to stand against technology?
Thursday, 1 April 2010
Just me and the girls
I am currently doing something I don't do often: rereading a book. There are so many books out there that I don't often pick something up twice, but I had been feeling like I needed a good dose of friendship lately, and immediately this book series came to mind.
Now, I am blessed with many many good girlfriends. More than I've ever had at any point in my life until now. I have mommy friends and church friends and blog friends and email friends. They all fulfill a different purpose in my life, meeting different needs for me. They are my examples and inspiration, shoulders to cry on and sounding boards for frustrations. Together we share laughs and music and books and scripture and faith and life. I am truly blessed.
I was drawn to these books for another reason, one that is ironically both part of the plot and the theme of the books. The trilogy is about three women, strangers, who meet one summer when they are all billeting at the same house during a religious educational conference. They are different ages, in different stages of life. They only spend a few days together, but they are drawn to each other, and spend the next 25 years in correspondence, mostly through letter writing, with occasional visits. It is never openly expressed in the book, but I think part of what draws them to each other is the fact that these friends are not in their local circle.
I think women have a tendency to always and only want to show their best face to those we come in contact with on a regular basis. Heaven forbid someone drop in with last night's dishes rivaling Mount Everest in size, piled up in the sink. Or see us one of those days when we opt not to shower and dress. Or catch us losing our temper with our kids. We just don't do that!
When it comes to strangers, we have the ability to let it all out. Sometimes it's just easier to confess our deepest fears to someone we don't have to sit beside at church on Sunday or run into at the market. We need to have a moment of vulnerability with someone, but we don't want to see that someone the next day, feeling embarrassed about our personal trials and failures.
So when I picked up this book for the second time, I had the sense that I could sit in with these girls, women who were going through the same things I am, experiencing the same emotions. The authors of the book are honest about those feelings that lurk beneath the surface in us all. And so for me, I feel like I can reveal myself to these characters, admit that I can sympathize with what they are going through, have a conversation with them. And then I can close the book and not feel overwhelmed by a more public confession. Not everything I'm feeling needs to be shared with someone else, but sometimes it still needs an outlet. This seems to provide the perfect answer for me.
Now, I am blessed with many many good girlfriends. More than I've ever had at any point in my life until now. I have mommy friends and church friends and blog friends and email friends. They all fulfill a different purpose in my life, meeting different needs for me. They are my examples and inspiration, shoulders to cry on and sounding boards for frustrations. Together we share laughs and music and books and scripture and faith and life. I am truly blessed.
I was drawn to these books for another reason, one that is ironically both part of the plot and the theme of the books. The trilogy is about three women, strangers, who meet one summer when they are all billeting at the same house during a religious educational conference. They are different ages, in different stages of life. They only spend a few days together, but they are drawn to each other, and spend the next 25 years in correspondence, mostly through letter writing, with occasional visits. It is never openly expressed in the book, but I think part of what draws them to each other is the fact that these friends are not in their local circle.
I think women have a tendency to always and only want to show their best face to those we come in contact with on a regular basis. Heaven forbid someone drop in with last night's dishes rivaling Mount Everest in size, piled up in the sink. Or see us one of those days when we opt not to shower and dress. Or catch us losing our temper with our kids. We just don't do that!
When it comes to strangers, we have the ability to let it all out. Sometimes it's just easier to confess our deepest fears to someone we don't have to sit beside at church on Sunday or run into at the market. We need to have a moment of vulnerability with someone, but we don't want to see that someone the next day, feeling embarrassed about our personal trials and failures.
So when I picked up this book for the second time, I had the sense that I could sit in with these girls, women who were going through the same things I am, experiencing the same emotions. The authors of the book are honest about those feelings that lurk beneath the surface in us all. And so for me, I feel like I can reveal myself to these characters, admit that I can sympathize with what they are going through, have a conversation with them. And then I can close the book and not feel overwhelmed by a more public confession. Not everything I'm feeling needs to be shared with someone else, but sometimes it still needs an outlet. This seems to provide the perfect answer for me.
Plagarism
I read the following entry over at Laura's Heavenly Homemaker's website. I was going to write about how it spoke to me, it was what I needed to hear and try to sum up what she expressed so perfectly. But then I realized that since she expressed it so perfectly, I would simply let her do the "expressing." So, in Laura's words, here is an excerpt from her series "Becoming a Better Help Meet."
***
When we got married, we had quite a few expectations about what we thought marriage would be like.
I personally had quite a blissful view of what it would be like to be a wife and homemaker. My kitchen would always be clean. My chores would always bring me joy. I would always be rested, organized and cheerful. My husband would always say and do exactly the things I needed and wanted him to say and do. We would have beautiful children who were well behaved and quiet and who never argued. Oh, and of course, some of those beautiful children would be of the girl variety.
Fifteen and a half years later, I am a (very happily married) woman with a frequently dirty kitchen and a large list of unfinished chores that ocasionally make me feel very grumpy. I could use a nap and I have to pray and put forth quite an effort to continually be cheerful. My husband certainly doesn’t always say and do exactly what I need him or want him to do. None of my children are of the girl variety…and hardly ever are they quiet.
Am I disappointed with all of these expectations that have gone unfulfilled? No way. I’m still doing everything I always wanted to do…I’m just living within the realm of reality now. The fact that God gave us four boys has been joyful beyond my wildest dreams. I could never keep a perfect house because well…we’re all living in it. My husband can’t possibly say everything and do everything perfectly because as great as he is, he is also human and for goodness sake..sometimes I don’t even know what I want. How is he supposed to know?
You know the way life always turns out so perfectly in books that you read and movies that you watch? Yeah…those aren’t real!! Books and movies are stories written by people. I have to be very careful when I’m reading a good Christian fiction book that I don’t suddenly become dissatisfied with my own husband and my own life. Somehow the main male character in those books knows exactly what his woman needs and wants and always says the perfect thing. (Funny isn’t it that these books are usually written by WOMEN!)
I am going to suggest then that while we absolutely should aim high and desire a wonderful life with a wonderful man of God…we also need to recognize that there is no such thing as a perfect life with a perfect man. If there was a perfect man out there…he wouldn’t be choosing the likes of me because well…I’m not perfect.
I have more to say about expectations, specifically with our husbands, but I’ll share that another time.
For now I’ll stop with the simple idea that as a help meet to our husbands we need to learn to be joyful while we live lives that are less than perfect. Lives that may include spills, mistakes, socks on the floor, stains on the rug, bad breath, hurt, death, sickness, sore backs, misplaced documents, dried out markers, toilet seats left up, squishy bananas under the table and lost library books.
Embrace the life God gave you with the husband you chose. Let go of perfect expectations…and choose JOY!
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