Starting School

First of all, I'm a little sad that I'm even writing this post! My baby is off to school next week! He is starting at a local nursery school, on Mondays and Tuesdays for 2 1/2 hours in the morning. A wonderful friend has graciously offered to drive Colin, as I don't have a car. The owners/operators/teachers are good friends of ours, and I know many of the moms and kids who are already attending. I suppose if there is a best-case scenario where I have to send him off, this is it.

So the big question is then...what about homeschool? For months I have been writing about it, thinking about it, mulling it over and wondering if it is right for us. I love the freedom and latitude that homeschooling allows. I love that we can work at each child's pace, and not be afraid of him being held back by others or feeling pushed too quickly. I love that I could tailor the subjects to his interests, and also include religious, behavioural, and social learning. I love that we could go on any number of field trips, and that travel could be an integral part of our schooling.

I don't doubt myself as a teacher. Teaching has always been a passion of mine (although as a career I would probably pursue high school rather than elementary). I have the dedication and love of learning to be able to give my children an excellent education - probably one better than they would receive in school (in the purely cerebral sense).

I have no fears of my children being socialized well. One-on-one learning of homeschool means fewer hours "in the classroom". We attend church, have family nearby, and many, many, many friends with just as many playdates. We are active in the community and will be signed up in community activities and sports teams.

So why school, then? In the end, it came down to one factor, but it was a huge one. Colin is an extrovert. I don't mean "extrovert" in the sense that he is outgoing (although he is). I recently learned about being an extrovert or an introvert in the realm of how you get your energy, your boost, your recharge. Personally, I am an introvert. (No, really, I am. I know many of you who know me are thinking "but you're so outgoing!" That's true, but stay with me for a minute. I really am an introvert!) I need time to myself. If I don't get time alone, I get crabby. I get anxious. I get tired. I recharge by being on my own. Contrary to this, I have a friend who is an extrovert. She needs to be around people to get her energy kick. If she is by herself for too long, she starts to feel depressed, tired, lonely. If faced with the choice of engaging in a group activity or being by herself, she would pick the group. Me, I would rather curl up with a book, play the piano, write, go for a hike.

I have noticed this with Colin. At home he is nearly incapable of spending much time alone. After about 5 minutes he's looking for me. He'd much rather loiter around me as I do dishes than play with toys by himself. Anyone who walks in the door is an instant friend and is invited to share in his playtime. When I take him out to the Early Years Centre or to a program with other kids, he absolutely thrives. He almost never has a temper tantrum, whereas at home he melts down two or three times an hour, at least. At home he needs a new activity every 5 minutes, becoming easily bored without someone to be with. When surrounded by people he demonstrates excellent behaviour. He grasps new concepts at an exponential rate.

And so, over the past few months, I have observed all these things in Colin, which brought me to the conclusion that he will probably be best suited in a classroom, filled with other children. He is a quick learner and especially bright, but I'm hoping that his teachers will challenge him further. I'm hoping that his love for people will translate into his helping others with their work when he's finished his. And I'm hoping that he will learn to use his intensity in positive ways.

I will most certainly supplement his education at home. Reading will be a huge factor, as will a summer program (you should read what the teachers and experts say about the two-month hiatus our children have and how it takes at least 6 weeks in the fall to get them back to where they were the previous June!).

My number one philosophy on education is this: I will make sure each one of my children is getting the very best education he/she can get. This may mean homeschooling for some and not for others. It may mean starting in the public system for a few years and then pulling them out for a time to educate at home. It may mean French Immersion or the gifted program or a private or alternative learning school. My priority is that my children love to learn and value education. I think the best thing I can do, then, is to keep an open mind, constantly evaluate the situation, and be willing to change if change proves necessary.

Celebrity

Last night my mother-in-law and I ventured downtown to a Celine Dion concert. I'm not a huge concert goer; in fact I've only been to three other concerts in my life (excluding the symphony). I love music, but just could never justify shelling out the money demanded to see the musicians in person. These tickets were a gift through our business, which is how we ended up in the 19th row at the Air Canada Centre last night to see Celine.

The show was fantastic. Her voice alone is incredible, and then add the lights, the costumes, the dancers, the other musicians, the videos and the atmosphere - definitely a show worth taking in. I haven't followed her latest albums, but I especially love her French music, and I grew up listening to many of her English songs also.

She sang a great mix of classic favs and new selections; she seemed to know exactly what the crowd wanted to hear. But the highlight of the night was when she announced to the crowd that she "just couldn't do any concert without singing one song in French". I was ecstatic, as I was not expecting her to sing in French in Toronto. And then, of all the songs on all the albums, she sang my favourite song of all: "Pour Que Tu M'aimes Encore". ("So that you'll love me once more") This song encapsulates the beauty of the French language in poetic imagery that just makes me smile. For those of you who read French, I've included the words. For those of you who don't, Celine did sing an English translation of the song, however it only captures the meaning of the lines, and misses the poetry completely.

But before the song, I should include one more comment on the concert, which led to the title of this blog entry. With thousands of fans in a sold-out crowd on their feet to welcome Celine Dion, and as she stepped out and sang, I realized this: she is just another person. High above there was a massive video screen to show close-ups of her singing, and looking at the screen her flawless skin and styled hair and expensive clothing spoke of Celine the Celebrity. She seemed untouchable and far away; an image and a life completely unattainable by an "ordinary person". But looking at her, in person, on stage, she looked so small, no bigger than the dancers and singers and musicians. For she really isn't larger than life. She is just another person.

I have never been impressed by celebrity; I can't think of anyone famous that would make me weak in the knees or take my breath away. There are a few people I would like to sit down and have lunch with and talk about their experiences, but nothing more. But I do admit I get caught up in the glamour of the idea of celebrity, the seeming perfection of beauty. Last night was a good reminder that the TV image, the magazine image, the film image, that we see of these people are a fabrication, and behind them all are just people.

All that being said, Celine is an incredible performer and I loved every second of the concert!

***

"Pour Que Tu M'aimes Encore"

J'ai compris tous les mots, j'ai bien compris, merci
Raisonnable et nouveau, c'est ainsi par ici
Que les choses ont change, que les fleurs ont fane
Que le temps d'avant, c'etait le temps d'avant
Que si tout zappe et lasse, les amours aussi passent

Il faut que tu saches

J'irai chercher ton coeur si tu l'emportes ailleurs
Meme si dans tes danses d'autres dansent tes heures
J'irai chercher ton ame dans les froids dans les flammes
Je te jetterai des sorts pour que tu m'aimes encore

Fallait pas commencer m'attirer me toucher
Fallait pas tant donner moi je sais pas jouer
On me dit qu'aujourd'hui, on me dit que les autres font ainsi
Je ne suis pas les autres
Avant que l'on s'attache, avant que l'on se gache

Il faut que tu saches

J'irai chercher ton coeur si tu l'emportes ailleurs
Meme si dans tes danses d'autres dansent tes heures
J'irai chercher ton ame dans les froids dans les flammes
Je te jetterai des sorts pour que tu m'aimes encore

Je trouverai des langages pour chanter tes louanges
Je ferai nos bagages pour d'infinies vendanges
Les formules magiques des marabouts d'Afrique
J'les dirai sans remords pour que tu m'aimes encore

Je m'inventerai reine pour que tu me retiennes
Je me ferai nouvelle pour que le feu reprenne
Je deviendrai ces autres qui te donnent du plaisir
Vos jeux seront les notres si tel est ton desir
Plus brillante plus belle pour une autre etincelle
Je me changerai en or pour que tu m'aimes encore

Little Tidbits

Caleb is now eating only adult food. He has never been impressed with pureed food, only tolerating it for nourishment, and grabbing a fistful of adult food whenever possible. Then last week he finally refused to eat any more baby food. He clamped his mouth shut, wriggled in his high chair and fussed and screamed through the whole ordeal. In the midst of it all, he yanked on the table cloth to bring Colin's plate of food over to him and hastily chowed down on everything he could get his fingers on. So I guess he's ready for finger food! He loves cereal, veggies and fruit. He's never been a meat boy, but that's a good thing, I guess.

***

Colin's toilet training just isn't happening. He really isn't ready for it. Although he doesn't like the wet underwear, he only ever tells us after he's gone. I do my best to get him to sit on the toilet after meals and naps, but I have to admit my own part in this can be sporadic also. (Something to do with another baby demanding my attention also?) I'm moving to use pull-up diapers instead of underwear, as I'm tired of cleaning up all those messes and Colin is showing no sign of understanding his bodily functions. I think it's too early for him yet, but I don't think moving back to diapers is a good idea - I spent too much time re-enforcing the fact that only babies like Caleb wear diapers. So "Diego Underwear" (pull-ups) it is for now.

***

Caleb woke up at 8am yesterday and 7:30 am this morning! Probably because of the trip out west, but I'm not complaining, and I'm not working on "getting him back on Toronto time"! He's going to bed later in the evening, which means I sacrifice some of my alone time (or time alone with James) but, for the short term, it's definitely worth it to sleep past 5am!

***

Caleb just climbed up the stair from the playroom into the kitchen. I guess using that stair to keep him in one place won't work anymore!

***

Colin starts nursery school next Wednesday! I am not ready for my little boy to go off to school! (Some faithful readers of my blog may be wondering what happened in my personal home school debate. Look for an entry on that in the next few days).

***

My mother-in-law stayed at my house to watch Colin while Caleb and I were in B.C. She is very very very neat and clean. Very. Downside: I go crazy trying to have the place tidy and clean when she is coming over. Upside: I came back from vacation to a very clean home, and with a few organizing upgrades! She cleared up my kitchen counter with a new "sit-in-the-sink" dish rack, moving the mat of the old dishrack up under the bathroom sink to catch water from the basket of bath toys. Then she used the cutlery cup from the old dishrack to hold a pair of rubber gloves next to the kitchen sink. She found a small tub to hold vinegar/water/dishsoap for Colin's pee-filled underwear and picked up a nighlight for the bathroom to make our night wakings with Caleb easier. My deck looks fabulous just by her rearranging the toys a little. Everywhere her hand is evident seems just a little neater and tidier, and for that I am ever so grateful!

Beautiful British Columbia

This past weekend I went on a (very) short trip out to British Columbia to visit with my Dad's side of the family. I have aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents and a great grandmother all living out there, and it was wonderful to see them all again. The purpose of our gathering was a little sad - my Great Grandma Gall is in the hospital and was not doing too well. Although she is being released sometime this week, she isn't yet able to care for herself again, which means she may have to spend some time convalescing in an assisted living home. It will be difficult for her, as her body slowly gives out but her mind remains sharp.

She will be 89 years old in November - November 9th, in fact. She and Caleb share the same birthday! I have had the great fortune to have many grandparents alive for most of my life. When Colin was born, he had 13 grandparents!

It's amazing to think of the generations and eras that my family spans. I get to hear snatches of what their lives were like in past years, but certainly not in enough depth to satisfy my curiosity. What a wonderful treat it would be to leaf through old journals of relatives, discovering their thoughts about events in their lives, seeing them evolve over time as they grew. It makes me excited to leave my own musings for a great great granddaughter to read one day.

Sometimes He Lets It Rain

"Sometimes He Lets It Rain"

She sees the storm clouds gather
The sky is turning cold and gray
She knows that something's coming
When she starts to feel this way
She pleads for intervention
But heaven offers no relief
And she would understand if she could only see that

Sometimes he lets it rain
He lets the fierce winds blow
Sometimes it takes a storm
To lead a heart where it can grow
He can move mountains of grief
And oceans of pain
But sometimes He lets it rain.

And when her heart surrenders To the Master in control
Her spirit learns the lessons of the tempest in her soul
When it's no longer raging
She can see how far she's come
Through the wisdom and the mercy of the Son

Sometimes he lets it rain
He lets the fierce winds blow
Sometimes it takes a storm
To lead a heart where it can grow
He can move mountains of grief
And oceans of pain
But sometimes He lets it rain.

Life in Snapshots

Music is a huge part of life in our home. Caleb has just discovered he can reach the piano keys, and loves to play. He also comes crawling whenever I sit to play and sing, pulls himself up and stands beside me at the piano bench, completely enthralled.
Colin's a little further along. He loves to sit and play, and even turns the pages in the books as he goes along. He also loves to sit beside me when I play, but he only lets me play songs wants to hear. This means only songs from the Reader's Digest Children's Songbook (a fantastic collection - I highly recommend it!), including: "On top of Spaghetti", "How much is that Doggie in the Window", "Chickery Chick", "When I See an Elephant Fly", "I've Been Working on the Railroad" and anything else that mentions a train, or has a train illustration on the page.
As you can see, Colin is obsessed with trains. Here he is at the "Day out with Thomas" event, playing with the tracks they had set up. His father and grandparents (who spoil him endlessly) are going to build a table and set up this track set (seen above) for him for Christmas/Birthday. He will go crazy over it, and all the money and work will be beyond worth it!
Caleb loves puzzles. more to the point, he loves pulling the puzzles off their neatly stacked spot on the bookshelf and launching them across the room. This guy is so strong! I can remember when he was three months old I picked him up off the floor and thought "man, he's getting heavy!" Then I noticed he had been holding onto a bouncy chair and had lifted the entire chair right off the ground!
Two brothers. Caleb thinks the world of Colin. He is trying so desperately to grow up faster and get bigger and stronger and more capable so that he can keep up with his big brother. Colin is slowly warming to the idea. In this photo, Colin is "parking" his little cars between the keys of the piano, and Caleb is trying hard to copy him.
And here they are. Two smiley peas in a pod. I love these guys.

Toilets

We have ventured into unchartered and uncertain territory these past few days...toilet training. My philosophy was always to wait until Colin showed a little more interest or knowledge on the subject, but I'm signing him up for nursery school two days a week in September, and they don't do diapers. So I thought I would take a very easy-going approach and see how things went.

They didn't.

Not really.

First I tried just having him run around in a t-shirt, hoping that after the first few accidents he would be disgusted with pee running down his leg. No such luck. He didn't really seem to care. He just sort of sat still, peed on the carpet and then kept going.

So I went out and invested way too much money in training pants, rubber covers, underwear and pull-up diapers. I would have kept on with the naked thing, but we have carpet - white carpet - all through the main floor of the house.

I had heard pull-ups were a bad idea - too much like diapers. I decided only to use them at nap and bed time, calling them "Diego underwear" (so as not to confuse the "your a big boy and don't need diapers" mentality I worked so hard on!). The rest of the time he's in underwear with the plastic cover over top (to protect my carpets!) The only step forward we've made is that after he pees he tells me he needs new underwear.

I also tried tracking when he ate and when he peed. No formula at all.

So finally I just decided that yesterday after dinner we would hunker down with a few books and he would just sit on his little toilet until he (hopefully) went. He sat there for one hour and ten minutes! We read 15 books. And yes, about half way through, he actually went pee! But I think the novelty of it was lost, as he now associates the toilet with reading.

Nothing but pee-filled underwear this morning discouraged me a little. After lunch I went to put Caleb down for a nap and Colin told me he was going to sit on the toilet and read while I did that. Shrugging my shoulders, I scooped up Caleb and left Colin to his...throne.

(By the way, sleep training a baby and toilet training a toddler at the same time...not a good game plan!)

I was up with Caleb for nearly 30 minutes trying to get him to sleep. Each time I stepped out of the nursery I peeked downstairs to see Colin happily going through the pile of 15 books we had read the night before. And then, amid Caleb's shrieking, I heard these glorious words:

"Mommy! There is dirt in my toilet!"

Yes, that's right. All he needed was a few good books and a little privacy. I flew down the stairs and showered him in accolades as we cleaned up and pulled up his underwear. "I'm so proud of you!" was the phrase I think I used most. (I had to laugh later on when Colin was playing with his trains and continuously praised: "Thomas, I'm so proud of you!"

Well, it's a start. It doesn't seem like it's going to be an easy road, like some mothers claim, but it's a start.