My thoughts have been all consuming toward the workshop that happened yesterday (other than attending to a baby, preschooler, and two older boys, cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking, etc!) And now it is passed. I write this entry not as a brag post, but as a reminder to my future self when I face this again, that everything will be okay.
It was amazing. I know now why the script felt awkward as I rehearsed it up in my bedroom. A workshop like that is about playing off your audience. Each of the six times I gave the workshop, it was slightly different. I followed a basic outline, but the emphasis fell in different places, the jokes came or went, the atmosphere affected the tone. I hardly referenced the script at all, and didn't even pull out my note cards. There is a rhythm I fell into that simply worked.
But my favourite part of it all wasn't anything I said. It was seeing the reaction from the teens sitting in front of me. It was their laughter and participation, and then being able to hear a pin drop. It was the strong presence of the Holy Spirit testifying to their hearts. It was the rowdy 16 year old at the back with sarcastic comments and an unwillingness to participate who, when I announced the title of the song I was going to sing, sat up in his chair and exclaimed "that's one of my favourite songs," then sat completely rapt as my wobbly and overused voice warbled its way through the song. It was 100 eyes at a time waiting for the next part of the story of Esther, marvelling at a girl who was about their own age being infused with a confidence from God. It was watching their minds realize their incredible individual worth as sons and daughters of God.
(And that friend that I was so worried about - the fun, entertaining one was going to knock everyone socks off and make my own presentation lame and boring? Well, he was fantastic. As it turns out, he owns a company that does motivational speaking in schools. No wonder he's amazing. And my own little pat on the back was that at the end of the day, he offered me a job! It is not the right time in my life right now, but perhaps in the next few years as the kids get a little older and more independent, I might be able to take him up on his offer.)