Where am I coming from?

After reading a recent entry, my mom called me up and posed the question: "Where are you coming from?" I usually try to make most of my posts somewhat coherent, even when it comes to the subjects that seem to be so important and so urgent that they are bouncing around like ping pong balls in my head, waiting for action.

So, where am I coming from? I don't know that I could catch and contain all my thoughts on paper. Poor James is often at the receiving end of incoherent excitement spilling from my brain and mouth. Yesterday I announced that I need to spend some time helping to build up small villages in Africa. (James thinks I need to stop listening to the CBC radio.)

So, where am I coming from? Well, I think the only way to understand, other than daring to crawl around in the corners of my brain, is to start with:

Reading:
"Better Off: Flipping the Switch on Technology"
"In Defense of Food"
"Homeschooling for Excellence"
"Shake Hands with the Devil"

Seeing:
"Ghandi
"The Corporation"
"Baraka"

Hearing:
"Les Miserables (Broadway Soundtrack)"
"Ragtime (Broadway Soundtrack)"
CBC Radio 2 (any program, but especially their morning stuff)

Participating:
The 100 Mile Market (in Meaford, Ontario)
A local farm
Growing and preserving your own food

After all this, you might be somewhere in the same neighbourhood as my thoughts. I feel like I've been walking through life with my eyes closed. I feel like jobs and careers in our neck of the world are pointless. I feel like life is too short and precious to keep ourselves occupied with the things we do. I feel human beings deserve more of a chance than many of them ever get. I feel a responsibility to humanity to do something.

When I first began this journey about a year ago, I began to feel the urge to run away. I wanted to be as far away from life as I know it. I wanted to pick my family up and settle in a small Canadian town, and return to a simpler life. I wanted to protect myself and my family from the horrors around me. I wanted to turn inward.

Now I realize I cannot indulge in the luxury of retreat. I cannot hide from the troubles of the world. There are unjust laws to be broken. There are inhumane behaviours to protest. There is a life that needs to be lived and my emerging conscious will not allow me to ignore it. I'm not sure yet which of my passions I should pursue first, but I know that I can and must step out and choose something and do something.