Wednesday, 4 February 2015

Stay at home mother

I read this great excerpt from the book "Sacred Influence."  Choosing to have one parent stay at home to raise the children and keep the home is one we made deliberately, and we have both sacrificed in ways to make this a reality.  In Victorian England, Charlotte Rothschild was 17 years old when she married Lionel.

"At first, Charlotte had difficulty adjusting to her life as a young wife.  Lionel's business kept him away for most of the day, and Charlotte lapsed into self-pity, thinking of herself as a neglected bride."

I do find it hard and sometimes lonely as James keeps the long hours he must to keep his business going. I know how important the work is does is, not only to provide for our family but to also provide for the other ten families of our employees that rely on our business.  But even this knowledge cannot combat the natural yearning for companionship.

"Charlotte's father eventually stepped in and urged her to stop feeling sorry for herself and instead find ways to offer immense practical help to Lionel and stop making a scene when he came home.  "Tell your husband he should assiduously visit diplomats in order to hear the news... You should try to find out what is happening in London.

"Charlotte took this advice to heart.  Instead of wasting energy on complaining, she put that same energy to work on Lionel's behalf.  'Soon it was Charlotte... who was efficiently entertaining diplomats, Cabinet ministers, princes, and peers.  Her guests evidenced her pragmatism; Charlotte knew she did not even have to like them.

"The two lovers merged into an indissoluble team, a united force to make their mark in this world.  They became arguably the most commercially successful couple of their day."

It can feel, at times, when I've listened to screaming all day, when my only accomplishment has been to fold laundry, and when I'm facing another evening on my own, a lonely road I have chosen.  This story has stuck with me as I contemplate my days and ways in which I may not just be a helpmeet to my husband, but make myself useful and indispensable.  I would one day hope that the descriptions "indissoluble team," "united force" and "successful couple" might be said of us.

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