Wednesday, 19 December 2007

Is that silence I hear?

Well, there is the drone of the baby swing in the background, but otherwise, yes - it is silence! I am treasuring the few minutes I have been granted today. Colin is sleeping, and Caleb is lying content (content???!!!) in his swing, allowing me time to hear the thoughts in my head!

Lately I have been on the edge of insanity. Caleb has, what most call, an awful case of colic. He has one "long" sleep every 24 hours, and that only lasts 2.5 - 3 hours at most. Luckily it comes between midnight and four am, so at least I'm getting a little sleep. Otherwise he generally needs to be held upright to provide him some relief from whatever gastrointestinal problems are weighing his little body down.

Colin is taking the terrible twos to a new level. I have never subscribed to the "let him cry it out", but if I try to comfort him he only pushes me away and continues to scream at a level my ears have never been exposed to before. The other day he screamed for a full hour at the front door after James left for work.

But I just put Colin down for a nap, and as he clung for dear life around my neck while I sang him a few lullabies, I breathed in the scent of his hair and felt his warm cheek against my face. These are moments that will soon be gone and I can never have back with him. Before long he'll be too old to be held by his sentimental mother and I'll only have these times in my memory. It's almost enough to make me head back upstairs, wake him up and hold him a little longer. Almost.

And even though my heart aches that I cannot ease Caleb's pain, and my head hurts from his screaming, I know the next two years will fly by in a flash, and the two after that, and then two more...I don't know that in a house of boys I'll ever get much silence, but I'm learning to appreciate the noise filling it up.

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