Wednesday 26 December 2007

Letting our kids learn

I rarely do this, but I read something that was eye-opening to me as a parent. Here are a few sections from an article titled "We Let Them Learn" by Laverd and Flora John:

"During our early years as parents, we behaved as if our children had been born to us - to have, to hold, and to mold. It was so easy to tell them what to say and do, and if our directions were correct, we shared part of the credit for their successes. Eventually, we learned that pushing them - "do your homework," "clean your room," "do the dishes" and so on - generated feelings of resentment and resistance.

"The day our family home evening lesson included the scripture "let every man learn his duty", our eyes were opened, and our approach changed. To let them learn, we had to acknowledge that our children had been born through us with agency and the potential to unfold...

"So we began arranging situations for our children where they could unfold on their own....

"The let them learn concept helped us when Rose Marie, our 11-year-old, asked, "Do I have to go to church today?" Our first impulse was to say, "Yes, you do!" But we quickly regained control and let her learn by saying, "We can't answer that question." "Why can't you?" she asked. "If we say you have to go, you may go, but with a negative attitude toward learning. If we say you don't have to go, you may stay home, and then the responsibility is ours. We lose either way. So you will have to decide whther or not to go." She pleaded: "Then can you tell me why you're going? I don't understand why it's important to go"...

"We savored every experience as we let our children learn the warm feelings of satisfaction and the unbelievable blessings that come from keeping the Sabbath day holy, paying tithing, budgeting money, cooking meals, cleaning the house, keeping the yard in good shape, and belonging to a supportive eternal family."

No comments: