I feel in a low valley. I feel uninspired. I feel tired. I feel anxious. I feel disconnected. These are not my usual feelings.
And I don't think I got there in just the last three days. I must have been on a slow slope downward for a while and not really realized it until things slowed down. I guess auto-pilot has been on for a while, and I'm just starting to realize that while everything is functioning around me normally, something feels at odds. It is as though my life is a puzzle, completely put together, but even though the pieces all interlock properly the picture doesn't make any sense.
I'm not sure what the answer is. The weather is beautiful, James hasn't been inordinately absent with work, the boys aren't any crazier than normal. I maybe have had a little less me-time than usual, but that doesn't even feel like the solution.
Hmmm. I hope it's just a temporary funk. The last two nights I've taken Benjamin for a walk in his stroller just before bedtime, a half hour where he is just sitting, taking in the world and I'm soaking up the sun in my beautiful neighbourhood. Perhaps that will be the jump start I need.
1 comment:
Sweetie,
It's so important to get the 'me' time - even if you don't think that's the solution. That was why I made sure to come up/down to your house every week when I was there so you could have that all-important 'me' time. I found that I needed some every day when you girls were growing up. I didn't need to do anything special - just to be able to be by myself and do something FOR myself. It could be as little as a bath or a chance to read or even an opportunity to get out and get some exercise.
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