Saturday, 12 May 2012

Born to be a mother

I heard this quote today from Stephanie Nielson, of Nienie Dialogues, and it stopped me in my thoughts:

"I was born to be a mother...I'm good at it."

We use this expression all the time "I was born to do this" or "I'm good at it."  It applies to all sorts of careers, hobbies, interests, pass-times.  And we aren't all born to do all the same things, and we certainly aren't all born to do everything.  But what about motherhood?  Is it possible that we can all be born to do this thing?  Can we all be good at it?

If you know anything about Stephanie Nielson, you'll know that she truly indeed epitomizes the idea of motherhood.  She loves to nest in her home, enjoys all the little things about her children, creates magical spaces and experiences for their lives.  You can see she is in her element as she bustles around her home.  She loves it, and she really is good at it.

I think others of us (including me) struggle a little more.  Maybe it doesn't come as naturally.  Maybe we have ideas we wish we could implement that never seem to fit in properly.  Maybe we feel torn between life at home and other facets of who we are.  Maybe we have other passions that match our desires to be mothers.

And yet, as women, we literally are born with the capacity for motherhood.  We are the gender of humanity designed for child bearing.  Beyond the physical aspect of it, there also seems to be a strong nurturing instinct in women, designed for child rearing.  These are the only uniquely female characteristics.

I don't know if I would state as firmly as Stephanie did that I was born to be a mother.  I don't feel the same strong sentiments behind that sentence, in the same manner in which Stephanie displays it.  By this, I mean the traditional flitting about at home idea of mother, popularized more-so in early to mid 20th century literature.  Herein lies the problem... I may not have been born to be a mother in the traditional sense, but I was definitely born to be my children's mother.  I'm not surprised that I have these three fabulous and adventurous little boys who I will be able to romp in the outdoors with and snuggle up to around campfires.  We'll build Lego creations until the cows come home and maybe even one day build a house.

This past Sunday in our women's class, the conversation roamed to the idea of the "perfect mother" or "perfect woman."  We all nodded in agreement when asked if we could think of someone who we thought fit that description.  But then the teacher asked who of us would raise our hands in admitting that we are not the perfect woman.  It was a rhetorical question, but every head in the room nodded in unison.  Then we all laughed.  We had all pinpointed someone in the room we felt exemplified the perfect woman, and then witnessed as that very person acknowledged her many weaknesses.

I am coming into a new season of life where I am rejoicing and celebrating individuality.  I love the different colours of all the women I know, woven into a beautiful tapestry.

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