Well, we have made our decision - informed and with prayer. Which I think is the only way to do things.
Both boys and James received the H1N1 flu vaccine today. I will be waiting until the baby comes, and then get mine done (if it is still available).
I'm feeling a little exhausted after all the reading and research I've been doing. Never mind the actual reading and understanding of all the medical terms, just trying to sift through all the information available to make sure I was reading only reputable facts and not people's personal opinions. But I feel very educated about the situation now, and confident with my decision.
In the end, there was one important fact that was reinforced for me: God has a plan for me and my family, and if I seek his guidance, He will not let me walk in darkness. The decision about the vaccine will be different for every person based on circumstances, experience, and a myriad of other factors. It is possible a person could get serious complications from the vaccine; it is possible that a person could get serious complications from the flu. It seems like a game of chance, if you try to make the decision alone. But with the knowledge that God has a plan for me and my family, and if I seek Him he will make it known to me, I can have confidence that we have made the right decision for us.
Does that mean He will necessarily protect us from all harm? I am not that naive. Suffering is a part of life, and it could strike our family in many ways and at any time. Ask a mother that loses a child, a husband that loses his wife, a family that endures great tragedy - they all could suffer from the unending questioning of "what could I have done differently?" But I have been greatly reassured by this quote lately:
"We should never complain, when we are living worthily, about what happens in our lives." (Richard G. Scott)
What a wonderful reminder of who is in control. We can find peace in these troubled times, we can conquer the fear swirling around us. We can put our trust in God. We can not only believe in Him, but believe Him - believe the assurances and promises he has given us and take shelter in his loving arms.