Doctor's appointments

Before I write anything else, everything looks to be okay. So please nobody panic.

But today was a little bit of a scary day for me. The past two weeks I have had three symptoms present all of a sudden, getting worse and worse as each day passed. 1) Headaches 2) Memory loss and 3) nausea.

I had chalked it up to sleep deprivation. The headaches were a bother while I tried to go about my daily tasks. The nausea would come and go in strong bouts. The memory loss (or forgetfulness) was aggravating at first, and then soon became annoying. I missed 4 appointments last week, which culminated in missing my good friend's wedding. 2 of the appointment were with the same person - I missed the initial meeting and then missed the rescheduled meeting also! The wedding I had been talking about all month, it was on the calendar, and all day Friday I was thinking about it and getting ready for it that evening. But then when evening came, I completely forgot. I think James and I watched a couple episodes of "Lost" and then went to bed. It wasn't until the next morning when I got an email from a friend asking me how the wedding was that I even realized I'd missed it.

Saturday I happened to be over at my in-laws, and was "joking" about how annoying it had been to forget all those things. There had also been several other things, like going to the store and forgetting what I went for (three times). Then my father-in-law, mildly concerned, asked James if I had had any other symptoms, like headaches. James said no, not knowing that I had indeed been battling headaches for those two weeks also.

So when James casually mentioned that conversation later that night, I started to panic. I hadn't put all the symptoms together, but when you do, it gets real scary real fast. I promised to book a doctor's appointment for Monday.

Monday (today) came and I called for an appointment. They were completely booked, and so I figured I would just have to wait until tomorrow. Then the nurse called back to talk to me about my symptoms, and she booked me in a cancellation spot.

So this afternoon I toddled over with Caleb and Benjamin in tow. After a battery of questions and motor-tests, the doctor disappeared for a few minutes. She came back with a requisition for a head CT, saying that they were taking me right away. I looked at her blankly, then fumbled for words about having to get the kids to my mother-in-law's and get right back. She asked if someone could pick them up instead. Well, I had the carseats and it would be just as quick to drive them myself, so I promised I would be quick.

I couldn't concentrate on my book while I waited in the waiting room. When they finally called my name, I felt myself grow quiet. I answered questions with nods or shakes of my head, not even feeling like I could speak. I nodded blindly through tears when they said I'd have to stop nursing for 24 hours while the dye cleared my system. That hit me harder than I thought, although when I considered why I was there and what the possibilities might be, I realized that not nursing for 24 hours was a small concession compared to perhaps not being able to nurse at all.

The test took only 10 minutes. When I finished they asked me to wait in the waiting room. That's when I really started to panic. I had offered a quick silent prayer on my way to the initial doctor's appointment, and the words that came to me to pray were for "courage, patience, and peace." Those words flooded back, as I realized that I hadn't been inspired to pray that nothing would be wrong, but for courage, patience and peace, as if there truly were something I was going to have to deal with.

I waited for 15 minutes, after which a call came instructing me to go back to my doctor, who had requested a call on her cell phone with the results. I raced over there and held my breath while she finished up with a patient in the next room.

"The scan was clear." Four beautiful words that finally did bring me some peace. The doctor's main concerns of a brain tumour or a stroke were allayed. My sinuses were really blocked, although that wouldn't account for the "significant memory loss," according to the requisition. She prescribed me something for the sinuses, and told me it the headaches should ease in two or three days, if that's all it is.

So that's where I am now. She also mentioned it could be migraines, as severe migraines can have neurological effects, in rare cases. If it isn't the sinuses, she said the next step will be migraine medication. If there is no result from that, the next step will be an MRI. But as that has to be down in Brampton, she wants to take this course first.

I still have a headache like nobody's business. I'm managing day-to-day tasks a little easier than I was two weeks ago, because I've somewhat grown accustom to the throbbing pain. I hope that it all clears quickly.