That's why I needed this beautiful reminder, posted on the Power of Moms website:
"This is the life we decided on, the roles we chose. And many evenings, as the sun gives way to evening, I think of him in his office and wish he were here. He thinks of me too, tries to call, but dinnertime and bedtime are so crazy, I rarely answer the phone. What remains, however, is the fact that we are both working for our family. Just in different locales. It doesn’t matter who is working harder, or longer. Marriage is not a contest. It is mutual work, for the same purpose, with the same goals. And I love Doug for being so committed to us.
As I shoulder more of the burden at home, I must make a conscious effort to resist resentment. I’ve gone to that place where anger swells and I fester in a selfish corner feeling put-upon and alone. I don’t want to go there.
I must be disciplined enough to see clearly what we are about, not the dishes and the hours on the clock. Doug and I are building something marvelous together. Something we wouldn’t be able to do without each other. We are a dependent team. And together we are nurturing lives, making a family."
Yes, I needed this reminder. Isn't it beautiful? My favourite line is "we are both working for our family. Just in different locales." Sometimes it's hard to remember that, when his work seems so much easier since it doesn't involve 4 children under 6, nursing a newborn, changing diapers, refereeing squabbles with a two year old, or helping with homework, making dinner and trying to tidy all at the same time. It's hard to remember when I can't hear myself think over the noise. But we both have the same end goal in mind, and we each have our own role to play in getting there.
I need to remember this when I feel like the work-life balance his completely out of whack. I need to remember this when the cleaning is piling up because the kids take all my time and attention. I need to remember this when I wish he would be home to watch the kids so I can take a shower more than twice a week.
Team. Team. Team. What he does is vital to the home life vision we have. What he does enables me to stay home with our children, to take them to school, be there when they get home, cuddle with our newborn all day and desperately hope something I'm saying is getting through to our two year old. Team. Team. Team.
We are the Home Team. I think this idea needs a little creativity boost behind it so I can get some sort of art made to hang in our home. Because this Home Team is awesome and unbeatable!