I was going to post today about my personality, and why I have certain tendencies. Then I was going to post about how I have a yearning lately to bake cakes instead of the usual muffin and cookie fare. Then I was going to post about report cards and parent teacher night and where the kids stand right now. Maybe in the next few days I'll still post about all this.
But today, it all feels frivolous. I can't put my finger on why, but I feel like sometimes I'm just rambling here, pouring out words without filter or forethought.
I want to write less.
I love writing. I don't want to stop. I don't want to post less, or cover fewer topics, or skim over in-depth subjects. I do want to choose my words more carefully. I want to be clearer and more concise. I want to write when I actually have something I want to record.
I don't write for the masses. I don't have a huge audience. I'm not expecting to alter the mindset or outlook of those few who do take a gander through my brain. I write so that one day my children, or daughters in-law, or grandchildren or great grand children might peruse through these pages and find an honest look into someone who went before, someone who struggled and triumphed and lived. I want one of them who is a young mother to find comfort that someone else dealt with a screaming baby or a naughty toddler. I want to inspire them to pursue new ideas and take roads less traveled. I want to encourage them in friendship, partnership, marriage, and parenthood.
But to do this, I feel like pages upon pages on one subject or another would be a hinderance rather than a help. The more you talk, the more likely you are to convince someone of your position rather than inspire them to consider the matter on their own terms. My favourite writings are not ones that are long essays on their subject, but rather short glimpses through a window at a world only knowable if I choose to enter in. I don't want to take my readers on long tours of great big buildings, but instead walk hand in hand down a street, peering into the windows, and stepping in when something peaks our interest.
And so, I will try to practice the art of less.