Memory

Not too many entries back I recorded one of my favourite "Mommy Brain" moments, where my memory had completely failed me. It was a humorous event which I met with laughter then and now.

The truth is, I have been plagued with a bad memory my whole life. It served me well during school - I could never rely on a cramming session to get me through a class. I had to truly learn the concept, inside and out, what it was and why it was. The result was that I really understood the things I was learning, and then "recalled" them with ease when I needed to.

There are many moments of my childhood I recall with perfect clarity. I had memories of preschool, family trips to worldwide destinations, friends and teachers, games and playtime. I can bring to mind smells and sights tucked way back in the recesses of my brain.

But for some reason, my memory bank is selective. There are huge gaps - large portions of my past that I wouldn't believe ever existed if it weren't for those around me who also experienced them.

And lately, my memory bank seems full. Many people ask of me how alike or different Caleb is from Colin. And the truth is, I can't remember.

It was with a touch of sadness last night that I gingerly inquired of James to fill in some of the emptiness in my memory. Was Colin as fussy? Would he sit and play or did he like to be held? Would he fall asleep anywhere or did he need the comfort of his crib? When did he roll over, sit, crawl? What was his general temperament as a baby? Did he laugh a lot, with mouth open wide like Caleb, or was he of a more serious disposition? did he have Caleb's eagerness to get going or was he content to sit and drink in the world around him?

I see how important these musings of mine will be as the years go by and memories are left behind on the side of the path I travel. I am grateful I will be blessed by these records, and also blessed by my husband with a memory to rival an elephant!