Update

Since it's been a week since I last wrote, I'm likely to hear soon from my mother about how I'm not keeping her updated enough. Unfortunately, this last week has been really tough. I feel like I'm slowly slipping back to the state I was in during my first trimester. I've had to send Benjamin to my friend's for daycare again, and most days I'm too sick to get out of bed. But I really judge my state based on what I want to eat, which these days is almost nothing. I crave nothing but fruit and green salads. The thought of meat makes me nauseous. The idea of bread is just too heavy. My hemoglobin and iron are so low I'm suffering from dizzy spells, but the vitamins make me sick. 11 weeks to full term, 9 weeks to when I usually deliver, and only 8 weeks if I end up with a scheduled c-section.

The c-section is one I'm having to consider. At this point I can't get downstairs without being sick, out of breath, dizzy and needing to sit down. Having been through three labours, I can't imagine how on earth I will make it, in the state I'm in. Plus there's the upside that I could be done with this whole pregnancy up to three weeks earlier, if I schedule a c-section.

Then another part of me hates the idea. I've managed three births naturally, and the thought of resorting to a c-section makes me scared. A lot more complications, pains, and scarring from that avenue. I almost feel like since I've made it this far, can't I go that bit further?

Then again, it's been a long time since I've been able to go without Zofran. And the third trimester dizzy spells and weakness won't make it any easier. But for now, it's just a waiting game. Watch each day pass, getting closer and closer to the end.