Monday, 16 January 2012

The next stage of life - Postscript

Thinking about what I wrote yesterday, it occurred to me perhaps one of the reasons I've really been lingering on "the next stage" lately. Yes, it has partly to do with all the reasons I wrote, including illness and sleepless nights and missed honeymoon years. But you know what I really think it is? I think it's my next coping mechanism.

You see, I got through the first trimester of this pregnancy looking forward to the 16 week mark, which was always when I was able to get up and going again. Then, as 16 weeks came and went with no significant improvement, I got really down. I felt like I had nothing to get me through until JUNE, which felt so very, very far away. I mean, the boys will be done school and summer will be in full swing by the time this baby comes and I'm well again. 5 months just seems interminably long.

So "the next stage" has become a definitive point in the future to look forward to. Yes, the baby will come and yes, I can't wait for newborn cuddles again. But right now I need something to get my mind off of pregnancy and babies altogether in order to get through, and, well, this is it. Yay for the brain that knows what we need for survival and subconsciously comes up with it.

No comments: