I started the morning with a shower. Good.
I snapped at James at breakfast. Bad.
I put Benjamin down for a morning nap. Good.
We had an awesome playdate with a friend. The boys were in seventh heaven and I got to know a friend even better. Good.
Colin didn't go for a nap (so I didn't get a nap). Bad.
Benjamin woke after an hour. Bad.
Caleb woke after an hour. Very very very very very bad.
Caleb cried over everything. Bad.
The boys watched a movie quietly. Good.
I decided it was finally warm enough to play in the backyard snow. Good.
I dressed three boys into snow gear. Bad.
The boys ran around the backyard. Good.
Benjamin cannot run in snow gear. Bad.
I tried to run around the backyard in my full snow gear carrying a squirmy one-year old in snow gear who only wanted to walk (but can't.). Bad. And exhausting.
I finally let everyone come inside after 45 minutes. Good.
No sign of James. Bad.
For dinner I eat leftover chili. The boys have eaten chili two days in a row already. I make them a salami and cheese sandwich. They aren't sure what to make of it. I don't even bother clearing the table of the 800 pieces of Lego. Dinner doesn't even feel like dinner. Bad.
Benjamin is tired and nurses every 5 minutes. Bad.
I finally lose it about the toys EVERYWHERE. Totally lose it. I threaten that if it is not all cleaned up now, I will put anything still out in the basement. Bad.
Colin cleans up very quietly, afraid to make me more angry. Bad.
Caleb doesn't clean. I threaten. He doesn't clean. I physically pick him up and force him to pick up toys and put them away. He starts to cry. Bad.
For the next half hour I shout and threaten and try to make him clean. He collapses on the floor in tears. And cries for the next 45 minutes. Bad.
I swoop everyone upstairs for bedtime. Caleb can hardly catch his breath. Benjamin cries in his crib while I brush Colin's teeth. Bad.
Caleb finally changes his cry from "I want my toys!" to "Mommy!" I leave Colin to sing to a crying Benjamin and curl up with Caleb on my bed. We pretend to blow out 10 candles on a Darth Vader Chocolate Birthday cake to help him calm down. Good.
Everyone is finally is pyjamas and ready for bed. We read books, a bible story, say a prayer and get everyone to bed. Good.
Seriously, it was a roller coaster. I could not foresee the day having such highs and lows all at once. Did all that really happen in one day? I think it must have been more like two or three, at least. But nope - all in a day's work of motherhood.
At least the highs are really high. If they weren't, I don't know if I would make it! There is nothing like cuddling up with your kids, taking a moment to stroke their hair or have a great big hug.